#these are just the ones I'm most confident on

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

The Bats make it a habit to send Bruce every "Brucie Wayne" edit they stumble upon on TikTok/Instagram. Bruce never responds, seemingly unbothered. But deep down, every notification chips away at his sanity. The more he sees his persona through the internet's lens, the more secondhand embarrassment he feels. Until he starts cringing at his own reflection.

He understands the necessity of maintaining the persona, but that doesn’t make it any less excruciating.

One time, he confides in Clark about it — because there’s no way in hell he’s telling his kids — and hands over the most-viewed video for context. Clark watches it, only to find himself blushing halfway through. Bruce immediately notices and snatches the phone back;

"Clark, seriously ?"

"I'm sorry ! It's just that, y'know, it's not that bad. I mean... Maybe if you showed me one more, I could, uh, get a better perspective ?"

"No."

[jybyls]

First time || Jinx

Masterlist

Request by anonymous here

Warnings: smut, soft sex, virgin!Jinx, virgin!reader, fingering (r receiving), not proofread, bad writing, and I think that's it.

Words: 1.9k

- 📜🎧🍂 -

"You're so pretty." Jinx mumbled against your neck as you put her hair behind her ear. You hummed, smiling down at her while her lips were travelling down your body. You shirt wad already on the floor, leaving you in sweatpants and a bra. On the other hand, Jinx was still fully dressed. Your hands made their way down her top, slowly caressing her back, which made her shiver under your gentle touch. You didn't want to rush or make her feel pressured to do anything, so you always made sure to keep your touch loving and comforting with her.

"Can I ?" You whispered as your fingers traced random shapes on her shirt. The simple question was enough to make her stomach do a flip. She was still getting used to being asked for consent or opinion on random things. She eventually nodded, "Yeah, you can. I mean, you're already shirtless. It's only fair that way, right, toots ?" She rambled. You could tell she was slightly nervous, so you didn't waste a second to reassure her, "This isn't about fairness. It's about you being comfortable with this, love." You tenderly explained, a hand on her cheek, softly caressing her reddened skin. She nodded again, slowly but surely understanding the situation. You kiss her nose to bring her attention back on you, "So ? What's your answer, baby ?" You murmured.

She suddenly kissed you and quickly pulled away, barely giving you any time to process what just happened, "The answer is yes." She said. Her lips inches away from yours. You nodded, letting your hands go underneath her top, unhurriedly taking it off. Her breath hitched at the cool air, hitting her now bare skin. You were mesmerised by the sight in front of you, your brain could barely think straight but you rapidly remembered who you had before you -a broken soul who needs constant reassurance- so you did your job, "You're stunning, Jinx. It's absolutely stunning." Your voice was full of adoration. The blue haired girl could only believe your words. A smile appeared on her face, and her eyes filled up with stars while looking into your fond ones. No words were spoken, but you both understood the other one's need and leaned into the most passionate kiss you've ever shared.

Your lips moved. I'm synchronisation as her tongue asks for entrance, which you gladly gave. Your tongues are now dancing with each other. The kiss was slow yet heated, hands roaming around every inch of your bodies like you guys were making sure to never forget what your partner's body looked like. The need and desire you were feeling towards one another was basically palpable, and you both definitely knew where this make-out session was going.

Her lips left yours, founding their place back on your neck as her hands went to your back to open your bra but nit before asking for permission that you happily gave. Her fingers quickly unhooked your bra without any problem. You gasped at her efficacy, which, of course, busted her ego. She smirked, taking your bra off to throw it somewhere in her room. Her eyes fell on your breasts, "Oh wow. Didn't know you were hiding all that under your clothes, baby." The rasp in her voice came out strongly, making you melt. Your cheeks reddened at her comment. It made you feel confident, but you couldn't help but ask, "You like it ?" You mumbled, feeling insecure. Jinx's eyes widened, "Like it ?! I love it ! You're gorgeous, toots. Wanna workship you, to be honest." The last past of her sentence came out as a whisper.

"Workship me ? Yeah, you can do that. Only if I get to workship you back ?" You smiled, and she nodded. Her lips found your neck again, going down to your cleavage. She took your time before going further and kissing between your breasts. You breathed heavily but tried to keep it steady. Jinx noticed your irregular breath, so she put her hand on where your heart was and helped you breathe more steadily. "You're safe. Don't worry, doll." She whispered, her lips making their way to your breast. She held your hand, interviewing your hands together when she kissed around your breast and then sucking on your nipple. You let out a soft moan of her name, which indicated her she was doing. She was proud and aroused at the same time. She could already tell this was her favourite sound. She gave attention to both your breasts, massaging the one she wasn't sucking on, eventually leaving small hickeys. You whimpered and moaned each time her lips touched your nipples, you couldn't get enough, and you wanted more of her.

"Jinx..." Your hips shyly jerked, she smirked, "Yes, toots ?" She answered while kissing your abdomen that contracted to the feeling of her lips. She didn't help your state when her hand left your breast to caress your side. You shivered under her touch, only then did you remember to answer her question. "Can we go further ?" You murmured, feeling slightly ashamed for some reasons. Jinx smiled up at you, "I'm ready to go further. Are you ?" You immediately nodded, and a 'yes' quickly left your mouth.

She pecked your lips, her hand leaving yours to undo your pants, your hands instinctively did the same with hers. Now both your pants are off, and your girlfriend didn't wait a second to love on your thighs, proudly smiling at the wet patch on your panties. She was glad you couldn't see how wet she was because she wanted to keep her pride, even if it wouldn't last long. She kissed your legs as you caressed her hair. Her mouth found your panties, looking up at you to make sure you weren't uncomfortable. And you weren't. You were getting impatient because of how painful the pool between in your panties felt.

She understood the message and took your panties off. Her breath hitched at the view of your bare pussy, "God... so pretty. You're absolutely perfect, my love." She praised, "Can I ?" You blushed at her words and nodded, "Yes, you can. Please." You begged and obviously Jinx gave in. She kissed your inner thighs then your clit, your body trembled, you moaned her name. "Feels good ?" She whispered. She was worried she wouldn't be able to make you feel good since she never done this before. "Yeah, you can keep going, darling." You panted, she nodded. She licked up your folds and kissed your clit again, you moaned and your legs shook. She couldn't get enough of your reaction so she kept going.

She sucked on your clit with precautions, her hand massaging your thigh, the other one back into yours, your hand never left her hair. "Should I put a finger in ?" She wondered, you hesitatingly nodded. You've only felt your own fingers inside of you so you were scared, however you wanted to take this step with your lover. "Yes, you should." You murmured, she came up to you to kiss your lips then sweetly smiled at you, "I'll try my best." She whispered, "I'm sure you'll do great." Your hands enveloped her face. You felt her finger going up your folds, leading you to tremble, she massaged your clit in circular motion as she slowly went in. Your walls felt tight our her finger, a gasp came out of your mouth to the feeling of her inside you, she didn't dare to move until you gave her the go and that didn't take long for you to give it to her.

She started moving her finger, she made sure to hit every spot inside of you, her eyes glued to yours not to miss any of yours reaction so she's know when she hit the that spot. She was steadily stirred, listening to your little moans and whimpered that made her ears go red. She felt herself getting wetter, but she brushed the thought away to focus on you and only you. Jinx's finger curled against your gummy walls it sent a shot of pleasure through your body, one that you've never felt before, your back arched with your mouth leaving a moan of her name. Her pupils went darker of lust. She wanted to give you more without overstepping your boundaries.

"Do, um, do you want me to add a finger ?" She unsurely asked, scared of your reaction. However, you were so lost in bliss that you couldn't even think straight. You eagerly nodded and only wanted to feel more of her. Jinx smiled and gently rubbed her other finger against your folds before entering your tight cunt. You moaned out loud, you've never felt so full in your entire but, gosh, it felt so good. "Jinx, fuck, you can go faster." You had a time forming a sentence but thankfully your girlfriend understood your will and obeyed. She went faster and it was so immediate you saw stars within the second.

"Like that, baby ?" She kissed your jaw, teasing you because she knew you liked what she was doing, and it was only busting her ego, "Yeah, keep going, love." You panted, your back arching when you felt her fingers curling, touching your g-spot. A lusty moan came out of your mouth as you felt the heat in your stomach getting stronger. Your walls tightened around Jinx's fingers, which made her groan. The whole time she tried to keep her noises down but she never succeeded, the sight fo you in such deep pleasure in front of her was too much for her to stay quiet, leaving small moans, sighs and whimpers. She took the time to praise you every now, and then when she felt your walls tightening around her, she understood you were close.

She caressed your tummy, "It's okay, toots, let go. Trust me." She gently whispered, her lips ghosting yours, keeping her mouvement steady so you'd get your release soon. And soon you got it. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and you held into her arms, your body trembling in pleasure when your orgasm hit you. And it hit you like a train. You uncontrollably shook under her from your first orgasm given by someone else. It was so much more intense than all the orgasms you've had by yourself and you weren't complaining because, fuck did it feel good.

Jinx held you against her, kissing your head as she murmured sweet words into your ear until you calmed down. She was so incredibly proud that she made you come undone around her fingers. She couldn't live that moment down. She looked at you with so much love and care. Her pink eyes never looked so warm. Your reaction was impossibly endearing to her she wanted to see it again and again and again, but at the same time, she didn't want to overwhelm you. She was too lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear you talking.

"Jinx, baby ? Are you still with me ?" Your breath was irregular as you spoke, a small giggle leaving your mouth. Jinx shook her head to focus back on you, "Yeah, of course, I'm here, toots." And here she was, everything was so quiet, everything was always so quiet when you were here. No voices, no bad thoughts, nothing. Just you and her against the world. "Did you hear what I said, hun ?" You asked, your hand caressing her cheek, "Nah, your body distracted me." She answered with a cheeky tone that made you blush. You smiled and repeated yourself, "I said do you wanna go next ?" You whispered. She didn't know how to react because she didn't know if she wanted to go next. But she did. She agreed, letting you take care of her. She trusted you with her body.

The night was eventful but unbelievably romantic.

- 📜🎧🍂 -

A/n: Here's my Christmas gift for y'all :) Love you <33

[loonysama]

I have to agree with everything above. I'm not saying the fic that made me want to stop writing was just because only 1.75% of hits got kudos, but I'd be lying if I didn't say how much that hurt, especially for imo one of the best fics I've ever written that I was already barely able to write due to such small kudos to hits ratios lately. I get that it might not have been something everyone was into, but damn. It made me feel like shit. I'm so grateful for everyone who has supported me over the last few years - especially those who have created art for my fics and read and left kudos on everything - but I think the sting of having my writing be unliked by so many people has been really hard to get over. It shot my confidence and I've had trouble writing ever since. And over the years, I have known several writers who have stopped writing altogether because of this, and even left the fandom because of it. I do not plan to do either, but to be honest, it has been a struggle not to be able to do something I really love doing because it just made me feel so bad to do it.

I wish so much that readers didn't use kudos as a measure of how much they like something. I wish so much that it meant, "Hey, it's so cool that you worked so hard on this so I could devour more content about my favorite ship without paying for it," rather than, "This was amazing, one of the most amazing things I've ever read, so I'm going to reward you with the coveted heart of approval I only use to let the most special of writers know they're the best because they deserve it more than everyone else." This can create competition amongst writers when there really shouldn't be. And more than anything, I wish I could just turn kudos off altogether, but I can't because every single kudo I get lifts my spirits just a little, and that's a really hard feeling to walk away from, even though I suspect most of them come from "guest" bots.

It is a dark truth, and writers aren't really allowed to talk about this because we are supposed to be so grateful for every single heart, and talking about this makes us come across as entitled. We provide a free service for our readers, and I consider a kudo to be a way to acknowledge that, and it costs readers absolutely nothing! In the US, we leave money in tip jars for practically everything. Kudos are tips you don't have to pay for. And it's not like anyone's keeping track and judging readers for leaving hearts for fics that might not be the pinnacle of greatness in their opinion. That's what bookmarks are for, and they can be made private. However, people do judge fics for not having that many kudos and some will skip over fics if the kudos-to-hits ratio is too low. So instead of rewarding only the very best fics with kudos, not leaving kudos actually hurts writers. Not to mention the very personal cost of putting ourselves out there and making ourselves completely vulnerable for everyone to judge us against our fellow writers. Many writers write about very personal things, and tbh, not getting kudos can feel like it's not just our writing being rejected, but ourselves.

So if anyone wants to accuse writers of feeling entitled for being upset about not getting enough kudos, please consider how entitled readers who don't leave kudos are for reading our free labor and not clicking a freaking button (that costs them absolutely nothing) in acknowledgment of the service we happily provide, and how ungrateful they are for not appreciating what we do. We don't have to post our writing. We could just "write for ourselves," but we don't; we share what we write with our readers because that give and take relationship should be rewarding for both writers and readers. But not getting kudos does more to discourage writers from writing altogether than to encourage them to provide more content. You wouldn't pay for a fancy coffee or overpriced cocktail drink without leaving a dollar in the tip jar, would you?

So at the very least, I wish people would stop making writers feel guilty for feeling this way, and I wish writers wouldn't buy into this way of thinking rather than valuing all of our hard work and countless hours that go into writing fanfic. Our feelings are valid; we're allowed to feel like shit when our hard work and vulnerability go unacknowledged for the mere reason that it was judged against someone else's work and found wanting. Wouldn't most readers feel that way if it was the other way around?

Is leaving kudos on fanfics not common courtesy anymore?

Something I've noticed on AO3 in the last two years is the lack of kudos and comments left on fanfics.

Fanfics have an increasing number of hits, but their kudos and comments remain minimal.

I understand that leaving comments is daunting, but kudos is the easiest thing you can do to show support and appreciation for an author.

Part of me wants to blame BookTok and the commercialized consumption of books.

Readers are more demanding and impatient for content, but they're quick to move on once a book is published. It's a constant demand for 'More, more, more' without appreciating and/or supporting authors. And these readers are now getting into fanfic.

I don't want to complain because it's not productive. But if you're new and getting into fanfic: Support writers.

Support means leaving kudos on AO3, and if you're able, leaving a comment. It's simple courtesy.

[mattslilies]

✩ model!reader - models for fresh love ✩

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you pulled up to the building, double checking the address before you got out of your car and walked in. you'd had a scheduling mishap and your manager had double booked you for the day, so you swore under your breath when you noticed that you were showing up late, and for a brand you'd never worked with.

you'd seen the founder, one Chris Sturniolo, follow you on Instagram about two weeks ago, and after scrolling through his account, you'd ended up following him back.

not long after you did, you noticed him liking quite a few of your posts, and then came a ping from your phone, signaling a new message.

2:16 pm: "love all the shoots you've done, they look amazing. i have a shoot for my own brand coming up, was wondering if you wanted to model?"

you read the direct message, the gears in your brain beginning to spin. you couldn't lie, you thought chris was incredibly attractive, and you almost never turned down a good modeling opportunity.

2:23 pm: "what's the brand? would love to look into and consider it."

2:24 pm: "@/freshlove"

a fast responder, then. you scrolled through the account that he had linked, and while it wasn't the type of thing you normally modeled, you were always up for a little bit of a change, a little step outside of your comfort zone.

just as you clicked out of the page, a new message notification crossed your screen.

2:27 pm: "hope you consider it well. would love to see your face there."

was he flirting with you?

you smiled to yourself, never turning down an opportunity for a little fun.

2:28 pm: "i will. would be a shame to miss out on such a nice looking offer. the clothes are cute too."

your only response was a heart reaction to your message, and just two weeks later, here you were.

slipping your phone into your pocket, you glanced around at all the people bustling through the building, unsure of where to go.

"you showed up."

you spun around, quickly realizing it was chris who had spoken, and who you were now standing face to face with.

"yes, i did. i'm so sorry i'm running late, my manager double booked me by mistake-"

chris just laughed, cutting you off.

"don't worry about it. double booked, huh? you must be popular."

you smiled back at him, a teasing glint in your eyes.

"yes, incredibly so. you should be grateful i chose this shoot over the other one i had scheduled today."

his grin only widened, enjoying the playful banter.

"well, consider me lucky i scored such a high demand model. i'll show you where you can grab clothes, if you'd like."

"after you."

it wasn't a far walk to where the rest of the models were setting up, most of them smiling and immediately welcoming you. you settled in easily, not noticing where chris disappeared to, but putting it mostly out of your mind as you let the makeup artist do her job.

the shoot went smoothly, you being the last one to go. chris coincidentally reappeared just in time to oversee all of your photos, smiling when the cameraman showed him each one.

"how's it look?" you called, that same confident smile on your face.

you'd learned early on that insecurity gets you nowhere, and while you weren't cocky, or egotistical, you were photogenic.

"perfect." he was incapable of hiding the smirk on his face.

the shoot wrapped up, and chris showed up once again as you were exiting the changing room, the outfits you'd just modeled draped over your arm.

"pictures looked fantastic."

"thank you. are they going on the instagram?"

chris nodded. "as soon as i get them, yes."

"tag me in them." you winked, starting to head out of the building after grabbing your things.

chris shook his head, smiling, privately loving your confident but playful demeanor.

"can i walk you to your car, or are you too booked and busy?"

you waved your hand in the air, dismissing the joke with a smile.

"never too busy to have a pretty boy walk me somewhere."

quickly finding your car, you and chris walked over there, generally chatting about both his brand and your job. he seemed genuinely interested, which was a nice change of pace.

"well, this is me."

you felt a slight twinge of disappointment as you held the handle of your car door, having thoroughly enjoyed the day.

chris still held eye contact with you for a few moments, not making any move to walk back inside, before gently pressing his lips against yours.

taken by surprise, but not uncomfortable, you kissed back, feeling his hand wrap around your waist. after a few seconds, he pulled back, that same smirk painting his lips.

"i hope to see you next time i have a photoshoot."

"i'll be expecting a message."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: this was a little longer than i expected!!!

[peppermintquartz]

Read this first

Read this second

Read this third

---

He doesn't like to lose his temper, but this once he wishes he's well enough to physically throw every last one of his visitors out of his room.

He can't, so he uses his words instead. "Get out."

"Buck," Maddie begins placatingly.

"Out!" Buck hates the way she flinches and the way her eyes shimmer with tears, so he turns away from the sight.

"Buck, we didn't mean to lie to you, you needed to rest-" Chimney puts in, but Buck grabs the bottle of water from his meal tray and hurls it in their direction. Chimney catches it before it hits anyone or anything. "Buck!"

"Out! Get out! Get out get out get out!" Buck shouts with all the strength he can muster, and the commotion must have caught the attention of a passing nurse, who firmly ushers Maddie and Chimney away from the room. once he's left alone, Buck collapses back into the pillows. His bruised side hurts and so does his head. His right ankle is throbbing.

The nurse comes back and sets a new bottle of water next to him. "I'm guessing that was not the most restful of visits, Mr Buckley. Let me check your vitals, hmm?"

"They lied to me," Buck mutters. He shuts his eyes and covers them with his forearm, for good measure, while the nurse takes his blood pressure using the other arm. The edges of the bandage around his skull brush against his arm. "They told me Tommy's alright, that he'd been here. They fucking lied to me."

The nurse hums sympathetically. "Who is this Tommy?"

"Tommy Kinard. He's in the ICU." Buck's lips wobble. "He saved my life and he's in the ICU and I can't go to him. They won't let me."

"You are still recovering yourself, Mr Buckley."

Buck sniffs and smiles weakly, lowering his arm to see who the nurse is. "Nick, hi. Everyone calls me Buck."

"Oh, so you're the miracle," Nick says with a smile. Nick looks to be about Tommy's age, his plump features and confident manner very assuring. "They tell me you and your team are frequent visitors. That's not a good thing, Buck."

"Tommy joked that we should have our own wing." Buck can feel his throat closing with emotion. "We,uh, we seem to have pretty bad luck."

"But they call you the miracle. Said you survived being struck by lightning and your heart stopped for over three minutes."

"Three minutes and seventeen seconds."

"Wow," Nick marvels. "That is a miracle." Then he removes the blood pressure cuff and shines a penlight into each of Buck's eyes. "Well, all seems good. I hope this Tommy guy recovers too, Buck."

Just then, Bobby walks in. "Hi, kid. How are we doing?"

"I wanna see Tommy," Buck says immediately.

Bobby's lips tighten. "Buck, I've been to see him. He's... he's unconscious. I don't know if it's a good idea for you to go up there and see him like that."

Fed up, Buck pushes himself off the bed and tries to stand on his one good leg. "I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me what they think I should or shouldn't do, or lying to me, or stopping me from contacting him," he snarls. "Everyone trying to decide what's good for me. I don't give a shit. I want to see him."

When he wobbles, Bobby catches him and sits him back down. Buck is breathing hard, and he doesn't even bother to try to hide his tears of frustration and worry.

"Pops, please," Buck begs, bringing up the old nickname. "He saved my life from Irene. I need to see him. If the worst happens and I didn't even get a chance to... I can't. I can't, Bobby. The look in his eyes before the semi hit us... I need to see him."

Bobby sighs. "Yeah, okay. Let me get you a wheelchair."

"No, crutches will do." Buck grits his teeth. "I can move. My injuries look a lot worse than they are."

"Kid, you were one massive bruise from shoulder to hip, you had a major concussion and you now have seven stitches in your scalp, and you twisted your ankle."

"Tommy's in the ICU," Buck counters. "I'm fine. Crutches."

---

Bobby fills Buck in on the severity of Tommy's injuries as they navigate their way to the ICU. it helps Buck to mentally prepare himself, but seeing Tommy in the bed, unconscious, looking the worse for wear - it breaks something deep inside Buck.

Once the nurses in charge have their information, Buck hobbles over to the chair the other guy - Sal, he thinks, recalling a photo Tommy showed him before of the old 118 - vacates.

Tommy looks horribly frail, connected to too many tubes and wires, his handsome face hidden by the ventilator. His hand is icy cold when Buck holds it.

"Tommy, please," Buck whispers. "I need to say it back. I need to. you can't- You're not allowed to make a dramatic declaration like that and leave me. Baby, you gotta wake up. I have to say it back to you."

He doesn't even know he's weeping until he realizes that the mask on his face is damp from absorbing his tears. Sal and Bobby have retreated outside the door.

Buck squeezes Tommy's cold, limp fingers and presses the back of the hand to his cheek. The monotonous beeps and steady hisses don't change at all.

"You're not allowed to play the hero and exit my life, you understand? You must wake up and get better. I need to apologize and we need to talk, we have so many memories to make together, you can't just leave me like this." Buck is sobbing now, and he feels a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "I need to say it back. You gotta wake up so I can say it back."

"Tell him anyway," Bobby says quietly. "Maybe he needs to hear it."

Buck looks over his shoulder and meets Bobby's gentle gaze. Behind him, Sal is watching stoically, but his eyes on Tommy are filled with concern.

Wiping away the tears under his eyes - a futile gesture, since his mask is already pretty wet - Buck leans forward to get as close as he could to Tommy's ear.

"Tommy, I love you. I love you so much. Come back to me so I can prove it." He presses the tip of his nose to Tommy's cheek. "I love you. Please, wake up."

[pbnbucks]

Tutoring caitlin in college

word count : 552

warnings : nothing but fluff

summary : caitlin was always a trouble maker.

“well maybe you would want to go out to eat after this?” the brunette clearly off task as you tried to help with her incomes graph for her upcoming managerial counting test as you tried to expressed how important it was for her to pass.

“Why would I do that, Caity?” teasing her as you run the backs of your fingers you and down her thigh painfully slow for a ‘tutoring’ session. you and caitlin both worshiped each session looking forward to the next one as it was every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

“because i would give you a night to remember” challenging you refusing to take no for an answer places her hand over yours making your fingers stop on her upper thigh. you enjoyed every second of your tutoring sessions, even though most of the time it was caitlin doing anything she could to get your attention.

“is that right? Why don't you get focused on the graph?” you inch closer and closer to her face as you see your little freshman get flustered by your presence. begging for your affection she leans in almost connecting your faces together before you teasingly pull away leaving her stumbling over her own movements.

“Can I take you on a date?” already ignoring your command, she is again trying to change the subject from her managerial counting homework. caitlin conned you into helping her about two months ago when she said she would help you by working at your small business downtown. she didn’t want paid or any reward, she just wanting your attention and tutoring.

“I'll give you ONE date if you're right, Caitlin. Now, please focus on your homework. That's the reason I'm even here,” challenging her as you accepted your defeat playing into the young ones games. you figure to give her an easy question as you secretly wouldn’t mind a date with her. but i mean who would.

“okay, ask away” the confident but insecure smile that came from her face along with her rosie blush filled cheeks made your heart melt for her. you couldn’t believe that this basketball star was practically puddy in your hands as she is head over heels for you.

“what is y=mx+b?” caitlins quickly shushes answer was about to be said before the librarian cut her off telling you both to be quiet or to leave if you kept causing disruptions.

“Mx is the slope, and the b is the y-intercept,” her slow answer, she hesitated on, was right, accepting your defeat. You removed your eyes from her, blushing, and she realized her answer was correct when you run your fingers through your hair.

“So dinner tonight. 6 pm sharp, I'll handle everything and pick you up.” Her giggles followed behind as she placed a kiss on your cheek picking up her study books heading out through the library doors not forgetting to tell you how excited she is for tonight.

“if you to want to gossip then you can go outside and do it” the librarian gave caitlin her second warning only for caitlin to slam the doors causing a scene as everybody stared at the interaction making you laugh at her antics. as well as making you realize that you actually have to start getting ready for tonight.

[wlwlibrary]

I'm super hyped for this so here's my predictions (totally not biased lol)

sorry if it's a little all over the place... (I was really tired when making the bracket list so excuse my spelling mistakes, namely supercorp with b T-T and 2017 instead of 2018)

So first 8 brackets top left, I don't know a lot about these ships but I do know Bubbline and they're quite popular so my guess is they definitely win at least one if not 2 rounds.

Brackets 8-17 middle left, again, don't know a lot about these ships except Lumity and they are really popular on ao3, top 3 ship actually. They will make it to the semi-finale because they have little competition (see brackets 1-16).

The next brackets are interesting... brackets 17-20 middle left. Korrasami, well known and liked will definitely win their first round BUT no way they will win against Supercorb. Supercorb is top 1 femslash ship on ao3 and one of THE most popular and well known femslash ships in history (along with SwanQueen and Clexa, honorable mention to Xena x Gabrielle bc they were the OGs).

Brackets 21-24 middle left, pretty confident Agathario will win these 2 rounds. Brand new ship that gained a lot of traction pretty fast. Sadly, I don't think they stand a chance against Supercorb either bc Supercorb just has such a long standing history while Agathario has just emerged. And what makes a ship strong imo (i dont mean the dynamic itself but its relationship to fandom) is endurance, like how long does a significant portion of the fandom continue to create fanworks and talk about the ship even after the original source material has ended.

Brackets 25-28 middle left, I could see both XenaGab and Avatrice winning the third round. XenaGab is the OG but it's not as well known and popular as Supercorb or SwanQueen for example. So maybe Avatrice has a chance because I've seen people posting about them.

Well, whoever wins of the aforementioned, SwanQueen will trump them, pretty sure.

Bottom left, I have high hopes for Chaggie because they had a really steep incline on ao3 with the release of Hazbin Hotel. Again, I don't think they'll win against SQ but there is a tiny tiny chance. I guess it all depends on the demographic this shipping contest reaches.

Quarter finals give me a headache bc I just know it's gonna be Supercorb vs. SwanQueen AGAIN. Kinda reminds me of Zimbio March Madness 2018 (just realized I wrote 2017 in the pic whoops). Anyway that's gonna be stressful lol personally I really want SQ to win that round :,)

So in semi-finals on the left we have Lumity against either SQ or Supercorb, so basically ao3 top 3 vs. top 1 or top 2 spots ahhhhh

Moving on to the right side...

Bracket 1-8, top right, Catradora will win it all up quarter finals where they're gonna loose to Gelphie or Caitvi. I don't know a lot of the ships but I'm pretty confident in my prediction.

Brackets 9-16 are really interesting because we have two newcomers or more like revival in Gelphie's case. Both pretty new ships but insanely popular at the moment, literally all over Tumblr. I can't really say who's gonna win between Gelphie and Caitvi, it all depends on who these polls reach. However, I'm leaning towards Caitvi simply because I feel like it's slightly more popular.

Brackets 17-20, it's gonna be a show off between Harlivy and Rhaenicent. Harlivy has a pretty solid fanbase that's been around for quite a few years which gives them an edge, but I wouldn't underestimate Rhaenicent (personal bias? what, no. jk).

Brackets 21-24 I have 0 idea how this is gonna turn out, all ships are pretty equal popularity wise. I guess Sanvers might win and Morgwen but afterwards? No idea.... Harlivy or Rhaenicent will be part of the quarter finals though.

Bottom 8 brackets, Wenclair will win 2 rounds at least. They've been really popular when Wednesday was released but I feel like they have died down a bit since then. I'm quite unsure if Clexa or Farcille would have a chance but just to be sure I put them as possible candidates for the quarter finals. Although the fandom Clexa has been mostly dead for too long (if I'm wrong pls correct me) and Farcille is still too new and unheard of in the entirety of femslash fandom.

My bet is still on either Rhaenicent or Harlivy for semi-finals.

So, semi finals...

I firmly believe that SQ or Supercorp, depending on who's winning quarter finals, will make it to the final. From the right side I'll place my bets on either Caitvi or Geplhie simply for the fact that my feed has been flooded by fanworks of them and because of the sensation of the ships.

Now regarding who will be the final winner... Could be either of the finalist, I really can't say. I'm hoping for SwanQueen but I'm having doubts due to the fact that there are really strong contestants before the final, Supercorp and Lumity, although Supercorp is the bigger threat.

The final itself is basically new vs. old-school ships, no matter who wins on the left haha.

That's it, obviously this is super biased and how this contest turns out is entirely dependant on what fandom spaces are reached but I'm really excited. Like there are possible demographic differences regarding live action vs. animation and eastern vs. western media.

Let me know your thoughts on who's gonna win and who you favor :D

Welcome to the Unofficial Top Femslash Ships Bracket!

Many people on Tumblr might have engaged in the practice of "shipping" in relation to "media". Some, according to legend, even have opinions on these matters.

If the above happens to apply to you, you might be eligible to vote in this bracket! We have pitted the most popular femslash pairings against each other to see who will emerge victorious. Round 1 polls drop on Thursday, December 26th at 4PM PST, and will run for three days.

Check current vote counts here!

FAQ:

How was the bracket made and seeded?

This bracket was made with a combination of centreoftheselights' Ao3 data, the Tumblr 2024 Year in Review list, and a few notes of historical interest, and seeded according to the results of this survey!

What are your stances on voter fraud, campaigning, bribing people with drabbles and/or art, etc?

Enthusiastically in favor! We do, however, ask that you don't DDOS Tumblr, and ideally don't commit any murders that can be traced back to us.

I have an issue with [x] being included in this poll.

This poll is a celebration of fandom and fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with some of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement of anything included in the bracket, and refrain from harassment.

In general, please remember that this is intended to be a fun time for the wide community which is fandom culture, and treat each other with respect!

Bracket Schedule!

[the-clumsywitchtarot]

How Can You Improve Your Health in the New Year? Pick-a-Card Reading

(Tarot & Oracle)

Because we're all about self improvement over here.

Cards

The Tower (Reversed)

Temperance (Reversed)

Knight of Wands

Immediately I got that this pile might want to focus on their mental health. I feel like this pile might really struggle with anxiety but with the tower in reverse I feel like you worry needlessly most times. But you're just so afraid that the one time you relax could be the time that things fall apart. With temperance in reverse and the knight of wands I feel like you try to regulate your emotions and calm down but the moment something seems like it might go wrong you go back into freak out mode.

Oracle Cards

Rose Quartz: Love - Heart Chakra

Malachite: Nature - Heart Chakra

Cinnabar: Business - Sacral Chakra

With the rose quartz crystal coming out I feel like you need to show yourself more love when you face these moments of anxiety instead of trying to make yourself snap out of it. The malachite crystal has to do with the heart chakra and nature in this deck, getting out into nature may help to make you feel more emotionally stable. Cinnabar is associated with business and the sacral chakra in this deck, this makes me think some of the anxiety you may be feeling could be about work. Consider working with these crystals to help balance your heart and sacral chakras. The sacral chakra is actually connected to the emotions and I also consider the heart chakra to be closely associated with emotions. If you decide to use cinnabar please use extreme caution, be careful with malachite as well.

Cards

4 of Cups

6 of Swords

5 of Swords

I feel like this pile's main focus needs to be on physical health. Some of the people in this pile might already be into physical fitness and for those people I feel like you do workouts that you don't really like for the sake of weight loss or just because you think it's a workout you should be doing. But with the 4 of Cups I feel like there are other workouts that you could be doing that you would actually enjoy but you aren't looking into any other form of exercise. I also feel like this pile could really struggle with body image, the coming year (2025) is really the time to try and release that and realize that you don't have to be at war with your body. Your job is not to make your body look a particular way (especially not a way that is impossible to achieve without extreme behaviors) your job is to make sure that you keep your body as healthy as you can.

Oracle Cards

Seraphinite: Honesty - Heart & Third Eye Chakras

Obsidian: Obsidian - Root Chakra

Dioptase: Direction - Heart Chakra

I feel like with the honesty card (seraphinite) you are being called to look at yourself, really look at yourself and see yourself for who you are. Beyond your body, beyond other's perceptions of you, beyond what you've been told you are based on other family members. Really look into your heart and soul and begin living your life from your soul and not based on your physical appearance.

Cards

4 of Pentacles

3 of Cups

The Empress (Reversed)

This pile might want to work on their financial health in the New Year. The first thing I'm hearing is you don't have to be at every brunch or outing your friends have because it's really starting to add up. For a very small group of people that chose this pile, I feel like you might enjoy clubbing often and it's becoming quite expensive. And I feel like everyone in this pile really enjoys going out but instead of going somewhere where you have to spend money look for more inexpensive options. Instead of going for a boozy brunch consider meeting up with your friends at a coffee shop, or going for a picnic in the park, or find affordable or free events in your area that you can go to. But whatever you do, you might really want to consider saving more of your money.

Oracle Cards

Peridot: Teach - Heart Chakra

Carnelian: Self-Confidence - Root & Sacral Chakras

Malachite: Nature - Heart Chakra

With this first card (Peridot) I feel like some of you could be teachers but I mostly feel like by you taking on this new attitude of financial responsibility. That you'll teach those around you how to be more financially responsible too. I feel that you feeling like you have control over your finances will give you a boost of confidence. I feel like malachite will help you to manifest more money but also help you during this time of going from someone that used to be somewhat financially irresponsible to someone that knows how to manage their money well.

I hope this reading resonated with you and please feel free to let me know which pile you chose! And please get professional help to improve your health if you think you need it. 🩷

-Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[averycutesalamander]

thinking about you and boothill both spending the day together for crimbas... nsft because it gets spicy 😳

He spoils you absolutely rotten with gifts. One of your favorites is the plushie he bought you during one of his trips; it's some alien animal you don't recognize, but it's so incredibly charming that you don't mind. He bought this blanket that's absolutely sinfully soft, and the two of you immediately bundle up together on the couch. You lay across his chest as he rubs circles into your back, and watching movies turns into half-watching movies when you creep upward to kiss him, all slow and tender. He purrs into your mouth, one hand raising to bury in your hair.

You spend... quite a bit of time like that, devouring each other with a steadily increasing hunger, but never crossing the threshold into true, burning heat. Eventually, long after the credits have rolled, you pull away with a heaving breath, your lips and tongue aching from where he's been nibbling at them.

Oh, and how beautiful he looks underneath you, his eyes soft with a low, smoldering arousal, his hair slightly mussed from your touch, his lips indented with the markings of your teeth. He looks like he wants to consume you whole, like he wants to slide you up the couch and let you pin his face between your thighs and beg you to use him however you please.

But if you do that, your plans will be very much derailed - so you slowly sit up and away from him, mourning the distance.

"I'm gonna go get changed," you murmur, slowly tracing the exposed plating of his abdomen.

He shivers under your touch, swallowing heavily as he looks you up and down, his eyes dark and hungry.

"Wait for me in the bedroom, won't you?" you say, your voice dipping into something taunting, something tempting, something almost lascivious.

Without another word, you slide off of his lap and pad off to the bathroom, feeling his gaze burn into your back.

The moment the door closes behind you, a wicked grin overtakes your face. You've already given all of your gifts to him for the day-

All except one.

You kneel down and quietly open the cupboards below the sink, pulling out the small, inconspicuous box tucked in the back. It's been here for weeks, waiting for its time to shine.

Or, rather, your time to shine.

You swallow as you lift the lingerie from the wrapping, running your fingers along the soft red lace and decorative bows and ribbons. God, you pray this will look as good on you as you hope it will.

You strip, shivering subtly at the chill of the room; without any delay, you get to work putting on all of the pieces - girtle, garters (the moment you see them around your thighs, you know he's going to go absolutely postal), the skimpiest bustier you've ever seen in your life (and dear fucking lord does it make your chest look incredible), and plenty of other miniscule pieces that take you ages to figure out. The thigh-length stockings are especially agonizing, because they're essentially just twisting spirals of ribbon - but once you get them on, you know it was worth it. The ribbons are just tight enough to squeeze around your thighs and calves, and you'd bet your life that he's going to lose his mind over the subtle bulge of your skin in the spaces between. You add a few finishing touches - most important is the bow that you tie delicately around your neck, the ends dipping tauntingly between your breasts. Finally, once you're done, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror.

You realize rather abruptly that dating Boothill must have dramatically increased your confidence, because there isn't a doubt in your mind that you look phenomenal. You're a little worried he's going to go into emergency shutdown from overheating once he lays eyes on you.

Well, you'll resuscitate him. You're desperate to see the look on his face.

So, without further delay, you step out of the bathroom, then head straight for the place that you'll certainly be staying for a few hours at the very least.

The bedroom door creaks as you push it open, leaning in the door frame as dramatically and lasciviously as you can manage, and-

Boothill whips around and freezes like a deer in headlights at the exact same moment you do.

He's... He's completely bare, and in the process of wrapping himself in ribbon - bright, sparkling red and silver stands that wind around his chest and his limbs. It's a bit clumsy, a bit crooked, but it's genuinely quite good; you suspect he went through the trouble of looking through a guide of some kind. The ribbon crosses and loops to perfectly emphasize the curves of his body, framing the bulge of his plating and the dips in between. His whole torso looks fucking mouthwatering; he's perfectly framed his chest by a crossing pattern of ribbon that sweeps perfectly down into the dips and seams of his waist, which already looks incredibly grabable by default - but you actually feel your fingers itching, yearning to clench your hands just above those pretty little hips. His thighs are cradled beautifully by the winding stands, looping down around his calves and highlighting the sharp arch of his heels. He was just getting started on his arms, but one of his biceps is already beautifully bound and wrapped.

He breaks the silence. "Sweetheart, you..." he rasps, swallowing audibly. You were so distracted by ogling him that you honestly forgot he was ogling you - and he looks ready to pounce on you. "You're so gorgeous it's gonna put me six feet under."

"Well, you'll be taking me down with you," you mumble, a bit dazed, "because you look absolutely stunning."

Slowly, you lean away from the door, walking toward him like a lion on the prowl, your hungry eyes drinking him in like he's your next meal. You stop just in front of him, so close that you're able to reach up and trace the choker of ribbon that he's wound around his neck, following down to the ridges of his collarbones, into the center of his chest, then even lower, your fingernails running down the plates of his abdomen.

"Pretty boy," you murmur, partly to yourself. When you look into his eyes, you can see that the red dots of his pupils have blown wider than you've ever seen. "Can't believe we both had basically the same idea."

He takes a shaking breath when you slowly trail your fingers down between his legs, and his whole body shivers when you trace the seams of the plates that hide his cock.

"Honey, I'm..." he whispers, practically devouring you with his eyes. "I need you, darlin'. You look... Fudge, sweetheart, ya look so good I can't stand it."

Oh, how he makes your heart flutter.

When you smile, the edges are lethal, and your eyes glitter with mischief. You pout as dramatically as you can manage, but the curl of your lips gives you away.

"What, you aren't going to finish wrapping my gift? I'm wounded, honeybee." Before he can break out of his stupor, you reach down, twisting your fingers in the loose ribbon that hangs from his arm. "I guess I'll have to do it myself, then."

You see the realization in his eyes like a flash of lightning, and you can't resist the urge to hook your fingers beneath the ribbon at his neck, yanking him down into a kiss so hot that it could melt steel. You lick into his mouth feverishly, hungrily, almost desperately, scraping your tongue along his teeth. He moans, sweet and low in his throat, rumbling in his chest; his hands finally drift to rest at your hips, the cold chill of his metal bleeding through the thin material of your lingerie - and fuck, you love how small he makes you feel, how easily he could overpower you at any moment.

"Ah, ah, ah," you croon, pulling away. "Hands behind your back, honey."

The look on his face is positively agonized, and you drink it in like the sweetest ambrosia you've ever tasted. "But- But, sweetheart-"

You press your finger to his lips to shush him. "Gifts don't speak, do they?"

He looks like he wants to pin you to the wall and rip you apart. Instead, he opens his mouth and curls his tongue around your finger, his lips curling mischievously when you shudder. Entranced, you carefully trace his teeth with the pad of your finger, savoring the subtle sting.

"Turn around," you rasp, suddenly feeling parched.

He gives your finger a tiny nibble and your hips a thorough squeeze before obeying, turning his back to you, obediently holding his arms behind his back.

Time to get to work, then.

With a teasingly light touch, you wind the final stands around his arms, looping and crossing and tucking; then, you tie them together, hand to elbow, wrapped all pretty in red. You tie it off with a bow, and by the end, your favorite present of the day is standing there in all his glory.

You admire him for a long, long moment, circling him like a hungry hyena; all the while, he tracks you with his eyes, looking distinctly eager to pin you down and ruin you.

"You're so beautiful it makes me crazy," you mumble, nibbling at your lip.

"Keep talkin' like that, and I'll have to rip right outta this and tear you apart," he rumbles.

You smile, wide and wicked. "You won't, though."

You walk backwards until your knees hit the bed, and you settle into a lounge on the edge of it.

"You're awfully confident, sweetheart," he purrs, slowly prowling toward you like a wolf on the hunt. You watch him with dark eyes, spreading open your thighs so he can stand between them, looming over you in a way that might've felt menacing if he weren't looking at you like he wants to fuck you until you break like glass.

"Because I know you're a good boy," you croon, watching with delight as his jaw clenches, heat flashing in his eyes.

Low and sultry, you purr, "Down on your knees, bee."

Your gut clenches with arousal from just how quickly he obeys; he drops down in front of you, staring up at you like you're the most divine creature he's ever seen.

"See?" you murmur, your lips curling - though your brain is so hot that your lips shake slightly. "Good boy."

God, you think you could come just from the look on his face.

You take a breath, trying to compose yourself, and he takes the opportunity to rasp, "Let me taste ya, baby. Please. Wanna feel you on my tongue so bad I could die."

Well, who are you to deny such a polite request?

You watch his eyes dart to your cunt as you part your thighs just a bit wider, your lower lips visible through the sheer, soaked fabric. You sling one leg around his shoulder, pulling him into your orbit, watching him lean eagerly toward your pussy like a starving man to a banquet. You bury your fingers in his hair, holding him just out of reach, laughing openly at the tiny whine that escapes him.

"You want something, bee?" you say, your eyes shining. "Then take it."

When he looks up at you, you suddenly feel like you're the one on your knees. Without missing a beat, he leans forward, carefully pinching your panties in his teeth. You hold your breath as he drags them down, down, down, exposing your dripping cunt to his greedy eyes.

When he licks his lips, it reminds you very much of a wolf licking its chops before digging into its prey.

"You're gonna have to beg me for mercy before I'm done with ya, doll," he growls, sending a shiver up your spine. "And when I'm done, I'm gonna fill you up, and I'll make ya come until ya cry."

He's right, in the end. He ruins you, over and over and over and over, until you're utterly spent, until you're so come-drunk that all you can do is lay there and take it. He tears the fabric away from your body eagerly, muttering that he'll replace it later; then, he breaks you over his cock, rutting into you like an animal, marking your body with his teeth. He listens to the chorus of moans and whimpers and whines that spill from your lips, never sated, always starved.

And all the while, his arms stay bound behind his back, wrapped and tied neatly. And all the while, you're utterly helpless beneath him, pinned down and drooling.

(Merry Christmas indeed.)

@opheliaflavoredinstantnoodles @ikeagroceries @shadowstadium @theswashbucklingspy @cosmo112 @fxngtasy @rinzis

[drabblesandsnippets]

Imagine... (‘I'm your present!’)

Bucky Barnes x Plus-size female reader

December Daze Challenge - Day 26 - @the-slumberparty

Warnings: (380w) Everyone’s alive and happy. Mention of Christmas. Friends to lovers. Vague description of lingerie.

Imagine the holidays at the compound, a mixture of elegant and whimsical decorations filling every room, fairy lights illuminating the hallways. The festivities are endless, boisterous laughter spilling across the shared space, various inviting smells emanating from the kitchen. One of your favorite parts is after things eventually quiet down and Bucky walks you back to your room, the two of you taking the long way to have more time together. In between the comfortable silence there’s heartfelt conversations and playful flirting, your friendship never crossing that line despite the obvious shared attraction. You’ve been patiently waiting for him to make a move, wanting to play into any lingering 1940’s sensibilities, but after yet another missed opportunity it’s time for a different approach. With your usual fearlessness and rarely-lacking confidence guiding you, a fateful game of Secret Santa has you sneaking into Bucky’s unoccupied room to surprise him with his gift. He walks in to find you standing at the foot of his bed, wearing sheer, unwrap-me lingerie that shows off your curves, the wide satin bow strategically tied across your breasts. One look from Bucky and the ungodly amount of time it took you to find the perfect size, and figure out how to evenly tie it, makes it all worth it. For several long seconds, he just stands there, mouth agape, eyes wide and unblinking, his gaze traveling from your bare legs all the way up to the bright smile lighting your face. After an initial indecipherable, muttered curse, Bucky lets out a hopeful laugh and stutters out, “Wha- What is this?” With your arms held wide to give him an even better view, you explain, “I’m your secret santa.” A playful twirl and then, “Merry Christmas!” Still in a bit of shock, color spreading across his cheeks, Bucky slowly shakes his head and sharply exhales, “Is this really happening?” “It is,” you laugh, his growing smirk giving you butterflies. “Do you like it?” “Do I-?” He’s interrupted by his own incredulous laugh before telling you, “Jesus, doll, this is- yes, I like it! I-.” A pause to let his gaze linger at the bow hiding most of your cleavage and Bucky’s excitedly asking, “Do I get to… if I pull on that, what'll happen?” “Why don’t you come over here and find out?”

Day 25 | Imagine… Masterlist | Day 27

Banners by @cafekitsune - Divider by @saradika-graphics

[xxgoldie]

Congratulations for your 100 followers!

May I request for harumasa or lighter (zzz)? As for the alphabets, it's B, G, J, S, and X!

good afternoon, morning or night^^

-Miyi

i think i originally planned to do this one w harumasa but i feel bad locking these reqs up too long (don't even mention the non-event reqs i have, they will get done i swear) n i've not been able to play zzz much recently bc of christmas so i'm still building confidence on writing for that yellow twink (/aff)

main event page - event masterlist

B: Body - what's their favourite body part of yours? Lighter really loves your hands. Absolutely one to compare hand sizes - especially if yours are a lot smaller than his, but it's really just an excuse to feel your soft hands against his calloused ones and get a good look at them. In fact, he loves any excuse to stare at them, like if you paint your nails or wear rings a lot - if you text him that you got a drink or something, he'll ask to see because he knows the photo will include your hand holding it. He also loves holding hands, he has so many sappy thoughts about your fingers interlock with his like puzzle pieces. Likes if you trace his scars or draw little patterns onto his skin with your finger, just finds the dance of your fingertips against his skin really soothing and intimate.

G: Gifts - do they give a lot of gifts? how do they feel about receiving gifts from you? Every time he runs errands in the city, Lighter will pick you up random things he think you'd like, whether it's your favourite snacks or a silly-looking plushie. While he won't necessarily get you a bunch of thought-out gifts without occasion, there are always little treats and trinkets waiting for you - you're just in the back of his mind basically non-stop, and he drops them into his basket without thinking twice. Sometimes, if he ends up getting you a bunch of things at once, he'll give them to you over a few days, just so he can see the smile on your face when he gives them to you again. With recieving gifts from you, he's a bit awkward about it but he treasures everything you give him. Especially if it's something heartfelt or expensive, he doesn't really know what to say to thank you but he appreciates it immensely. And if you return his treatment of regular small gifts, he keeps them all in one place, a small box in his drawer that to most people would just look like a bunch of random items, but is essentially a shrine to you.

J: Jealousy - do they get jealous easily? what are they like when they're jealous? Already done, see it here xx

S: Show-off - do they like to show off to their s/o? Honestly, he's more of a show off before you're dating, when he's crushing. Will never admit it but he has a desperate need for you to think he's cool. Tries to be extra suave and intimidating (to others, not to you), and gets extra flashy in fights when he knows you're watching. Once you're dating, though, his showing off basically becomes a way to tease you. You like his arms? The jacket's off and he's randomly flexing his muscles to watch you stare. Find his voice hot? He's playing it up and talking into your ear so you hang off his every word. Anything you find attractive, whether you tell him or he notices himself, he's showing it off - partially because it adds a bit of pride in that trait, but mainly because he loves to see your reactions to it.

X: X-Ray - how easily can they read their partner? how easy are they to read? Already done, see it here xx

[lee-laurent]

Running For My Life -- Luke Hughes

Summary: Luke's gonna propose, Aria would rather runaway and change her identity

content: fear of abandonment, angst, fluff, kissing, implied smut but no explicit smut, arguing

wc: 6.5k

notes: another one from my list!! enjoy! and joyeux noël!!

Aria Carson didn't believe in fairytales or happy endings like her mom read to her as a kid. She used to, once. Before she understood what "happily ever after" really meant--it was a placeholder, a pretty bow slapped on a mess to make it look pretty.

Her parents' marriage unraveled when she was four. She didn't remember the details, just the shouting and the silence that followed. Her dad left their small house with a suitcase, and Aria watched from the window as he promised her mom he'd come by every weekend. He didn't. Not always.

At first, she waited. She sat on the front porch with her favourite stuffed animal tucked under her arm, staring down the driveway like it would summon his car. But over time, waiting turned into resenting, and resenting turned into expecting the worst.

By the time she was a teenager, she'd built a fortress around her heart. She wasn't the girl dreaming of love stories or matching tattoos with her high school sweetheart. Instead, she made rules--her own personal guide to relationships:

Rule #1: Keep it fun. (No big romantic gestures. No flowers, or candlelit dinners) Rule #2: Keep it light. (Don't share too much. Vulnerability is a weakness) Rule #3: Don't fall in love. Ever

The rules worked. Aria became the girl people warned their friends about--the one who could break hearts without blinking. Not because she wanted to, but because she knew what love turned into when the magic wore off.

That was the plan, anyway. Until her second year of university. Until Luke Hughes.

It started like most things in her life did: messy and impulsive. She'd been at a hockey house party, surrounded by sweaty college guys who thought Coors Light was peak luxury. The music was loud, the air thick with cheap cologne, and Aria had already turned down three awkward attempts at flirting when she spotted him.

Luke noticed her first.

She stood in the kitchen, laughing with her friends, tall and effortlessly confident, her dark hair seemed to shine every time she tossed it over her shoulder. She was wearing a Umich branded bikini top under a pair of blue-and-maize striped overalls, one of the straps hanging loosely at her side. Her tan skin glowed under the dim party lights, and Luke, clutching a red solo cup, couldn't help but stare.

"You've got no shot, man."

Luke turned, startled, to see one of the older guys on the team staring at him. It was Owen, one of his friends that seemed to have an opinion on everything.

"What?" Luke asked, blinking.

Owen nodded toward Aria. "Her. Don't even think about it."

Luke frowned. "Why not?"

"Because she's not the 'settling down' type," Owen said, leaning casually against the wall. "She's got rules. No attachments, no strings, no promises. Or something like that. She'll break your heart before you even know what hit you."

Luke glanced back at Aria, who was gesturing animatedly as she talked, her smile contagious.

"Well, I'm not looking for anything serious either," he said, shrugging.

Owen laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. "Sure, kid. Tell yourself that."

Luke rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop watching her. There was something about her--so self-assured, so unbothered by the chaos around her. She looked like the kind of girl who lived by her own rules.

And Luke? He wasn't a rule breaker.

But as Aria's gaze flicked across the room and met his, he decided maybe he could break some... if he had to. Her eyes lingered on him, her lips curling into the faintest smirk, sending him a wink before she turned away.

"Yeah, good luck with that," Owen muttered, shaking his head as he walked off.

Luke didn't answer. He was already moving forward, his drink forgotten.

~~

Luke had lied. The second he spoke to Aria, his 'not looking for something serious' turned into 'finding the love of his life.'

And for three long weeks, he followed her around like a lost puppy, trying to prove himself.

"She's going to think you're obsessed," Dylan said one night, lounging on his bed with a Playstation controller in his hands.

"I'm not obsessed," Luke mumbled, sitting cross-legged on the floor with his laptop. He was supposed to be finishing his econ assignment, but his screen had been on the same blank document for the last twenty minutes.

"You showed up the coffee shop where she studies at 7:30 in the morning."

"I like coffee."

"You don't drink coffee."

Luke ignored him, slamming his laptop shut and flopping back onto the rug. "Do you think she's into me?" he asked, staring at the popcorn ceiling.

Dylan paused his game and shot him a look. "Dude, she hasn't said yes to a date yet."

"Yeah, but she hasn't said no, either."

"Sure, man. Keep telling yourself that."

Luke groaned, covering his face with his hands. He wasn't used to this--chasing someone, putting himself out there and not knowing if he'd actually get anywhere. Hockey game naturally. School? He worked at it, but it made sense. But Aria? She was a puzzle he couldn't solve, a challenge he wasn't sure he was winning.

And still, he wouldn't stop trying.

~~

Another win, another hockey party. And Luke had decided to shoot his shot... for the fifth time.

The house was packed with familiar faces, but Luke barely noticed anyone. His eyes found Aria the moment she walked in with her sorority sisters. She moved to the living room, leaning against the arm of the couch, her long legs stretched out in front of her. Her Umich themed outfit from last time had been replaced by a crop top and some jeans, but she looked just as hot.

"Dude, don't," Owen warned, grabbing his arm as Luke made his way over to her and her friends. "You're just embarrassing yourself at this point."

Luke shrugged him off. "Thanks for pep talk, Power."

Aria spotted him before he reached her, her friends giggling as her lips quirked up into a smirk.

"Hughes," she said, crossing her arms. "Should I be flattered or concerned that you managed to find me so quickly?"

"Flattered," he said, grinning. "Obviously."

Her friends snickered, and she rolled her eyes. "What'd'ya want?"

"A chance," he said, stepping closer. He thought he might've been having a heart attack but he forced himself to maintain eye contact. "One date. That's all I'm asking."

Her smile didn't falter, but something flickered in her expression--curiosity, maybe. She tilted her head, studying him like a math problem she hadn't quite yet solved.

"And what makes you think you've earned it?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. Her friends all watched on, shoving each other and whispering about the scene in front of them.

Luke grinned, feeling the same rush of adrenaline he got during games. "I haven't," he admitted. "But I'm hoping you'll give me one anyway."

Aria stared at him, her friends now on the edge of their seats. Then, to Luke's surprise, she laughed. It was soft, almost reluctant, not the same laugh he'd heard her make before.

"Fine," she said, shaking her head. "One date. But don't get your hopes up, Hughes."

Luke's grin only grew, and for the first time in weeks, he felt like he'd just won something.

~~

Aria had always been good at knowing when to leave.

Most people made it easy for her. They showed their flaws upfront, made mistakes she could cling to as excuses when things got too serious. But Luke was different. He didn't push her or make her feel guilty. He was patient in a way that should have made him boring but didn't.

And that scared her more than anything.

The first time she tried to end things, they'd been dating for a few months. The familiar itch started small but grew--like a whisper in the back of her mind, telling her it was time to go. Things were getting too serious. Too real.

It wasn't that Luke had done anything wrong. If anything, he'd done everything right, and that was the problem. He was steady, thoughtful, and maddeningly perfect. He talked about her like she was someone worth staying for, and Aria didn't know how to handle that.

She stood outside his dorm, her heart pounding as she rehearsed what she was going to say. It had to be quick and clean. No room for negotiation. Luke deserved someone who believed in forever, not someone who was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Taking in a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Luke's voice called from inside.

When she pushed the door open, she was met with a sight that made her carefully rehearsed speech falter. Luke was cross-legged on the floor, a textbook open in front of him. Beside him was a bowl of her favourite food--mac and cheese with bread crumbs on the top--and a bottle of water balanced precariously on his notebook.

He looked up when she walked in, his face breaking into an easy, crooked smile. "Hey, you. Thought you might stop by."

The words she'd practiced seemed to vanish from her mind. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice quieter than she meant it to be.

"Studying," he said, gesturing to the mess of highlighters and notes around him. "And bribing you to take a break with me. You're way too hard on yourself, you know that?"

She blinked. "I--I didn't come here for food, Luke."

"Well, I'm not letting you leave until you eat," he said, reaching for the bowl and holding it out to her like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Aria stared at him, her stomach twisting. How could he be so calm? So sure? Didn't he realize that she was a flight risk?

"I was actually..." She trailed off, biting her lip.

Luke raised an eyebrow, waiting. He didn't pressure her, didn't say a word. He just... waited.

The silence stretched, and for a moment, Aria wanted to scream at him for making it so hard to walk away. But when she looked at him again--his hair falling into his eyes, his crooked grin he always wore--something inside her softened.

Her shoulders sagged, and she let out a long breath. "I hate you," she mumbled, grabbing the bowl from his hands and flopping down onto the floor beside him.

"No, you don't," Luke said, his smile growing as he nudged her shoulder.

She didn't. That was the problem.

~~

When Luke got the call-up to the Devils, everyone seemed to know what they were going to do next--except Aria.

He'd been drafted before they met, but that had always felt like a distant "someday." They were still in university, still figuring out their rhythm together, and for Aria, the future was an abstract concept she avoided at all costs.

But the day Luke walked into her apartment, his face lit up with an excitement he could barely contain, the abstract became real.

"I'm going to Jersey!" he said, his words slipping out in a rush. "They called me up!"

Her stomach dropped, but she forced a smile. "That's amazing, Lu."

His grin widened, and for a moment, she thought that would be the end of it. That he'd go, and she'd stay, and the distance between them would slowly untangle whatever they were building together. But then he looked at her, so full of hope, and said the words that made her panic:

"I want you to come with me."

She froze. "Luke, I--"

"Not right away," he added quickly. "I know you've got school and everything. But you could transfer or do classes online. Just think about it, okay?"

He kissed her before she could answer, and just like that, the conversation was over.

Aria thought about it--too much. She told herself it didn't make sense to uproot her life for someone who might not even be in it a year from now. But every time she tried to convince herself to stay, she imagined Luke walking off the ice in his red-and-black jersey, smiling at someone else the way he smiled at her.

So, she packed her things.

~~

Living in New Jersey wasn't as terrifying as she'd expected. She did her classes online, found a coffee shop she liked, and even learned to navigate the chaos of Preudential Center on game nights. Luke made it easy, too--he never pushed, never asked for more than she was ready to give.

But he kept dreaming out loud, and that was what scared her.

"One day," he said one night, his arm slung over her shoulders as they lay on the couch, "we should get a place with a big backyard. Enough room for a dog and, y'know, kids."

"You hate dogs."

He laughed. "Not the cute ones."

She forced a smile, but the room suddenly felt airless. "Yeah, maybe."

Luke didn't seem to notice her deflection, but Aria did. She always noticed. Every time he mentioned the future--a house, a family, a forever--she found herself scrambling for a way out of the conversation.

She wasn't ready for forever. She wasn't even sure she believed in it.

~~

The second time she almost ended things was when Luke invited her to Brady Tkachuk's wedding.

"End of the next month," he said, scrolling through the invitation on his phone. "Should be fun. My family will be there."

"Fun," Aria echoed.

"It'll be good for you to meet some of the guys and their wives," he added, glancing at her with an easy smile. "You'll love it."

She barely heard the rest of what he said. The word wives stuck in her head like a broken record, looping over and over until she thought she might scream.

What if Luke wanted that? What if he proposed one day? What if he asked her to be something more than she knew how to be?

She planned to end it the night before they left for the wedding. She sat in their apartment, rehearsing the words like she'd done before, feeling the familiar itch of escape crawling under her skin. But when Luke walked in, grinning and holding a garment bag with his suit inside, she blanked.

"Can you believe we're going to a wedding?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her. "I mean, Brady's getting married. That's like fucking insane."

He was so happy, so genuinely excited, that she couldn't bring herself to ruin it.

So, she didn't.

~~

The wedding was everything Luke had said it would be--beautiful, extravagent, and... absolutely terrifying. Aria spent most of the night nursing a flute of champagne, smiling at the right moments and avoiding any conversation about the future.

But then came the bouquet toss.

She hadn't planned to participate, but somehow she found herself dragged to the dance floor with the other women. Brady's wife stood in front of them, laughing as she prepared to throw the bouquet. Aria stayed near the back of the group, silently praying the flowers would land far, far away from her.

They didn't.

The bouquet soared through the air and landed squarely in her hands, the room erupting into cheers.

She froze, the flowers feeling heavier than they were. Her eyes darted to Luke, who was grinning at her from across the room, and her heart sank to her stomach. He looked so happy, so full of hope, and all she could think was, "What if this is what he wants? What if he expects this from me someday?"

Her hands shook as she set the bouquet down on a nearby table, slipping away before anyone could say anything.

Luke found her outside, sitting on the steps of the venue. The cool night air did little to calm her nerves, but she forced a smile when he sat down beside her.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she lied, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. "Just needed some air. So many people."

Luke didn't press. He never did. Instead, he reached for her hand, his touch steady and grounding.

And for now, she believed that was enough.

~~

The lakehouse.

Aria had been before. She knew what she was getting into when Luke suggested they spend a few days there with Trevor and his brothers. She knew the loud nights filled with beer and laughter, the competitive games of cornhole on the back lawn, the way Jack and Trevor couldn't go more than an hour without arguing over something stupid.

She also knew the peace it offered--the calm mornings by the lake, the golden sunsets that made everything feeel simpler. But this time, the peace was harder to find.

Aria could feel it--something hanging in the air between herself and Luke. He'd been quieter than usual, more thoughtful, and every time he looked at her, it was with an expression she couldn't place, one she hadn't seen before.

She told herself she was imagining it, but her nerves didn't listen.

Which was how she ended up in her and Luke's room, rifling through drawers and suitcases in search of the phone charger Luke swore he'd packed.

"Where the hell is it?" she muttered under her breath, yanking open another drawer.

That's when she saw it.

A sleek black velvet box, tucked under a stack of folded t-shirts.

For a second, her brain didn't connect the dots. It was just a box, no different from any other forgotten thing people shoved into drawers. But as she reached for it, curiosity winning out, a sinking feeling bloomed in her chest.

She flipped it open.

The ring glistened in the soft light--a delicate, dainty, sparkling thing that looked as out of place in the lakehouse as it felt in her hands. Her breath hitched.

No. No, no, no.

Her hands started to shake, and she snapped the box shut, shoving it back into the drawer as though it burnt her.

Luke was going to propose.

The realization hit her like a slap.

She stumbled back, her heart pounding as the walls seemed to close in around her. He was going to ask her to marry him. To promise forever. To be everything she didn't know how to be.

Her phone was on the bed where she'd left it, and she snatched it with trembling hands.

"Hello?"

Her best friend's voice came through the line, muffled by the faint sound of music in the background.

"Hey," Aria said, her voice cracking. "D'you have a minute?"

"Ari? You okay?"

"No." She paced the small room, one hand gripping the phone and the other pressed to her forehead. "I'm not okay. I think--no, I know--Luke's going to propose."

The music cut off, replaced by silence. "Wait, what? How d'ya'know that?"

"I found the ring," she blurted. "It was in the drawer, just sitting there under some shirts like it's not the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life."

Her best friend let out a low whistle. "Wow. That's... huge."

"Yeah, no kidding," Aria snapped, before immediately softening. "Sorry. I'm just--I don't know what to do."

"Do you want to marry him?"

The question hung in the air. Aria's throat tightened. "I don't know. I mean, I love him, but..." She stopped, sinking onto the edge of the bed. "Forever is a long time. What if it doesn't work? What if I ruin everything?"

Her best friend sighed. "You guys have been together for two years. That's practically forever in your world. Doesn't that like count for something?"

"It's not the same," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because once it's official like that, it can all fall apart." Her grip on the phone tightened. "You don't get it. Forever isn't real. It's just a word people use until things go wrong."

"I think that you're overthinking this."

Aria let out a humourless laugh. "Of course I'm overthinking it. That's what I do."

"Okay, but have you considered not freaking out until he actually asks the question? Maybe he's not proposing yet. Maybe he's just, I don't know, planning ahead."

Planning ahead. It was such a Luke thing to do, and the thought only made her panic more. "I can't do this."

"You don't mean that."

"I think I do."

Her friend sighed again, but before she could say anything else, there was a knock at the door.

"Hey, Ari? Baby?" It was Luke's voice, muffled but unmistakable. "You okay in there?"

Her stomach dropped. "I have to go," she said quickly, hanging up before she could get a response.

Luke knocked again, and she scrambled to look put together, smoothing her hair and forcing a shaky smile onto her face as she opened the door.

"Hey! What's up, Lu?"

Luke frowned, looking between her and the room behind her. "I was just checking on you. You've been in here a while."

"Yeah, I was just...looking for the charger." She stepped forward, closing the door behind her and blocking the drawer from view. "Found it. All good now."

He didn't look convinced, but he didn't push. Instead, he reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We're gonna start the bonfire soon. Come join us?"

"Yeah," she said, her smile wavering. "I'll be right there."

Luke nodded, leaning in to kiss her cheek before heading back down the hall.

As soon as he was out of sight, Aria leaned back against the door, her whole body trembling.

She didn't know she was going to deal with this in the slightest.

~~

From the moment Aria found the ring, everything changed.

It wasn't intentional--at least, that's what she told herself. She wasn't actively trying to avoid Luke, not exactly. But the thought of being alone with him, of giving him the perfect opportunity to ask the question she wasn't ready to answer, made her chest feel tight.

So, she avoided.

Every time Luke suggested they go for a walk by the lake or watch a movie together, she found a way to include someone else. Jack and Quinn were easy distractions, always up for a game of pool or a boat ride. And Trevor? Trevor was a one-man circus, the kind of person who made it impossible to have a serious conversation.

"Hey, you guys wanna join us?" she'd ask casually, barely glancing at Luke as she extended the invitation to the group.

Luke didn't seem to mind at first. He loved his brothers, loved Trevor, and he didn't question why Aria suddenly wanted them around all the time. But the moments he tried to catch her alone grew more frequent.

"You sure you don't wanna skip the bonfire tonight?" he asked one evening, his hand brushing hers as they stood by the dock. "Just the two of us?"

Aria swallowed hard. "Come on, it'll be more fun with everyone there."

Luke's expression faltered, just for a second, but he nodded. "Yeah. Sure."

It wasn't just the group activities, either. She dodged every kiss, every touch that felt too intimate. She started turning her head at the last second when Luke leaned in, brushing her cheek instead of her lips.

And then there was the night he was sliding his hand under her t-shirt, pulling her closer, squeezing her thigh.

"Not tonight," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Luke froze, his forehead pressed against the back of her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just... tired."

He didn't argue, didn't push. He just rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling as Aria pretended to fall asleep. But she knew he wasn't convinced.

The next morning, Luke's patience finally cracked.

Aria was in the kitchen, fussing with the coffee maker and trying to act normal, when he came up behind her.

"Okay, what's going on?" he asked, his voice soft but firm.

"What do you mean?" she replied, not turning around.

"Don't do that." He stepped closer, his hand brushing her arm. "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

"Luke, I--"

"You've been weird the last few days," he interrupted her, his brow furrowed. "You won't kiss me, you barely look at me, and I can't remember the last time we had a meaningful conversation. Did I... do something wrong?"

The hurt in his voice was like a punch to the gut, and Aria's chest tightened with guilt.

"No," she said, spinning around to face him. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what is it?" His eyes searched hers, his worry plain as day. "Aria, talk to me. Please."

She opened her mouth, desperate to say something, anything that would fix the cracks forming between them. But the words got stuck in her throat. How was she supposed to tell him the truth? That she was terrified of the future he seemed so certain about? That she wasn't ready to be anyone's forever?

"I'm fine," she lied straight through her teeth. "Really."

Luke stared at her, sucking his teeth with a click. "Okay," he said finally, his tone carefully neutral. "If you say so."

But the look in his eyes said that he didn't believe her for a second. And Aria wondered if she was really about to lose him.

~~

The tension finally snapped on the third night.

Luke had given Aria space, hoping she'd come around, but her avoidance hadn't stopped. If anything, it got worse. She barely spoke to him, flinched every time he tried to touch her, and spent more time with his brothers and Trevor than with him.

It was after dinner when Luke cornered her in the living room, his frustration finally bubbling over.

"Aria, can we talk?" his tone was clipped.

She froze, her eyes darting between Quinn and Jack, who were setting up a game of cards. Trevor was flipping through TV channels, oblivious.

"Maybe later," she mumbled, turning toward the kitchen.

"No," Luke said, louder this time. "Not later. Now."

His voice cut through the room, drawing everyone's attention. Jack and Quinn exchanged a glance, their game forgotten, and Trevor paused mid-click.

Aria's stomach churned, but she nodded stiffly, brushing past Luke as she headed toward the hallway. He followed her into their room, shutting the door behind him.

"What the hell is going on with you?" he demanded, his voice low but full of frustration.

"Nothing," she said quickly, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

"Don't lie to me, Aria." He stepped closer, his eyes searching hers. "You've been acting like you don't even want to be here. Like you don't even want me around."

"That's not true."

"Then what is it?" His voice cracked, and the vulnerability made her feel sick. "Because I'm trying here, and you're shutting me out. You won't even fucking look at me."

"Luke, I--"

"Tell me the truth. Whatever it is, I can handle it. Just... talk to me."

The words spilled out before she could stop them.

"I'm scared, okay?" Her voice broke, and the emotion she'd been holding back for days came rushing to the surface. "I'm scared, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Scared of what?"

"Of this," she said, gesturing wildly between them. "Of us. Of the future you keep talking about like it's already written. I... found the ring. And I can't--I don't know how to be what you want me to be."

"I'm not asking you to be anything. I just want you."

"But what if I can't do forever?" Her voice rose, her fear spilling out unchecked. "What if I ruin it? What if you wake up one day and realize I'm not enough? Or worse, what if you leave? Just like my dad, or everyone else I've ever trusted?"

"Aria--"

"Don't," she said, cutting him off. "Don't tell me it's going to be okay, because it's not. Love isn't supposed to be a trap, Luke. And that's what marriage feels like. A trap I can't get out of."

His face crumpled, the weight of her words hitting him like a punch to the gut. "You think I'm trapping you?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know anything anymore."

For a moment, the room went silent except for the sound of their breathing.

Then Luke's voice broke the stillness, quiet but raw. "You're the only person I've ever wanted forever with, Aria. And you're standing here telling me that's a bad thing."

"I'm sorry," she choked out. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this."

Luke stared at her, heartbreak written across his face. "What does that mean?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't.

The door slammed behind her as she walked out, leaving Luke alone in the silence.

The others had heard the argument, of course. It wasn't like they had a choice.

Quinn and Jack exchanged tense glances as Aria hurried past them, her face pale and her eyes rimmed red. Trevor stood frozen by the couch, his remote forgotten.

No one stopped her as she grabbed her bag and slipped out the front door, her steps quick and unsteady.

Luke emerged a few minutes later, his expression hollow as he scanned the room. Jack opened his mouth to say something, but Quinn nudged him, shaking his head.

Luke didn't speak. He just walked out onto the porch, staring out at the dark lake as if the answers to all his questions were hidden somewhere in the still water.

And for the first time in their relationship, he wasn't sure if Aria was coming back.

~~

Aria didn't know where else to go.

After leaving the house, she drove aimlessly for hours, trying to clear her head. Eventually, she found herself pulling into the driveway of her childhood home. The porch light was on, casting a soft glow over the familiar brick exterior, and suddenly she felt like she could breathe again.

Her mom answered the door within seconds, her face softening when she saw Aria standing there with tear-streaked cheeks and a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hi, Mama," she said, her voice trembling.

"Come in," her mom replied without hesitation, stepping aside.

They sat at the kitchen table, two mugs of tea between them. Aria stared down at her hands, tracing invisible patterns on the worn wood, while her mom watched her with patient eyes.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" her mom asked gently.

Aria hesitated, the words caught in her throat. But then the dam broke, and it all came pouring out--Luke, the ring, the argument, her fears. Everything.

When she finally stopped, her chest felt hollow, like she'd emptied out every thought and feeling she'd been holding inside.

Her mom took a long sip of her tea before setting the mug down with a soft click. "You're scared he's going to leave you," she said, not a question but a quiet truth.

Aria nodded, her eyes welling with tears again. "Everyone leaves eventually. Why would he be any different?"

Her mom reached across the table, covering Aria's hand with her own. "Because he's not your dad. And you're not me."

The words hit Aria like a jolt. "What?"

"I made mistakes, Aria," her mom said, her voice steady. "Your father and I...we didn't handle things the way we should have. And I know that left scars on you. But you can't let those scars dictate the rest of your life."

"But what if I screw up? What if I'm not enough for him?"

Her mom's grip tightened. "You're already enough. You always have been. Luke sees that, even if you don't. And from what you've told me, he's the kind of person who would move heaven and earth for you."

Aria looked away, the lump in her throat growing. "I'm just so scared."

"I know," her mom said softly. "But you're not me, Aria. You're your own person, with your own love story. And Luke? He sounds like the best thing that's ever happened to you."

The words settled over Aria like a blanket, heavy but comforting.

"He is," she whispered, her voice cracking. "And I'm running from him. I'm running from the one person who's never let me down."

"Then stop running."

~~

That night, Aria lay in her childhood bed, staring silently at the ceiling.

You're not me. You're your own person.

Luke loved her--not the idea of her, not the version she tried to present, but the messy, imperfect, scared girl underneath. And she loved him too. She loved him enough to fight for them, even if it meant facing her fears head-on.

For the first time, she let herself imaigne a future with him. Not the polished, idealized version he sometimes described, but one that was real. Messy. Flawed. And maybe, just maybe, perfect in its own way.

Aria knew what she had to do...

~~

Aria stepped out of the car, her heart pounding as she approached the door. The sound of laughter and music that normally spilled out of the lake house was missing, replaced by a heavy silence that made her stomach churn.

Jack was one who opened the door, his brow furrowing when he saw her. "Aria?"

"Is he here?"

Jack hesitated, glancing over his shoulder. "Yeah. He's out back."

Quinn appeared behind him, his expression unreadable. Trevor hovered awkwardly by the couch, uncharacteristically quiet.

"Thanks," Aria said, brushing past them and heading toward the sliding glass doors that led to the backyard.

Luke was on the dock, feet dangling over the water and his head bowed. He didn't look up when she approached, and it wasn't until she was only a few feet away that she realized how broken he looked.

His shoulders were hunched, his usually bright eyes dull and rimmed red. He looked smaller, like the weight of their fight had crushed him.

"Luke," she said, her voice cracking.

He didn't turn around.

She took a deep breath, stepping closer until she was standing right behind him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

He let out a hollow laugh, shaking his head. "For what, Aria? For running? For not trusting me? For making me feel like I'm not enough?"

The words hit her like a slap, but she didn't flinch. She deserved them.

"All of it," she said, sinking to her knees beside him. "I was scared. I am scared. But it's not because of you. It's because of me. Because I don't know how to believe in something this good, this real. And instead of facing that, I hurt you."

His jaw ticked, but he didn't respond.

"I talked to my mom," she continued. "She told me I'm not her. That I don't have to let the past define me. And she's right. I've been so scared of losing you that I started pushing you away. But I don't want to do that anymore."

Finally, Luke turned to look at her, his eyes searching hers. "What are you saying, Aria?"

"I'm saying I'm ready," she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I'm ready to trust you. To trust us. I love you, Luke. I'm so in love with you. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if you let me."

His expression softened, the anger in his eyes replaced by something still raw, but full of love.

"Aria..." he let out a shaky breath, rubbing a hand over his face. "I love you too. But you hurt me. Like really fucking hurt me. And I... I need time to forgive you for that."

Her heart clenched, but she nodded, wiping her tears. "I understand. Take... take was much time as you need. I just... needed you to know."

He reached out, his finger brushing hers. "I still want forever with you, Aria. But when I ask you to marry me, I want it to be a moment we both remember for the right reasons. Not something rushed or overshadowed by all this."

She nodded, her throat too tight to speak.

For a while, they sat in silence, their hands loosely intertwined as the lake stretched out before them. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't a clean fix. Finally, Aria felt like they were on the same page, moving forward instead of apart.

~~

The apartment was quiet except for the soft hum of the TV. Aria was curled up in bed, her head resting on Luke's chest as the glow of the screen flickered across the room. They'd seen the movie before--it was one of Luke's favourites--but she barely paid attention, too comfortable and warm to care.

"This is the best part," Luke murmured, his arm tightening around her as the scene shifted.

"Mhm," Aria replied, half-asleep.

Luke chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

A few minutes later, he started to shift beneath her.

"Where are you going?" she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"Be right back," he said, gently easing her off him.

Aria groaned, flopping dramatically onto her side. "But you're warm. And I still wanna cuddle."

Luke didn't answer, and when she opened her eyes, he was already out of bed. She frowned, glancing toward the bathroom, but the door was open and the lights were off.

"Luke?" she called, propping herself up on one elbow.

That's when she heard it--a soft, deliberate clearing of a throat. She turned toward the sound, and her breath caught.

Luke was kneeling on the floor beside her side of the bed, his hair slightly messy and his expression equal parts nervous and determined.

"Are you--" She sat up, her voice catching. "Are you serious right now?"

He grinned, pulling a small black velvet box out of his pocket. "I told you I'd surprise you, didn't I?"

Aria gasped, scrambling off the bed so quickly that the blanket got tangled around her legs. "Luke Hughes, if this is a joke, I swear--"

"It's not a joke," he said, his smile softening. "I love you, Aria. I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you at that party. And I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I know forever scares you, but it doesn't scare me--not when it's with you."

Tears blurred her vision as he opened the box, revealing the same ring she'd found all those months ago. It sparkled in the light of the TV, but she couldn't look away from his face.

"So, Aria Carson," he continued, his voice steady despite how red his face had become. "Will you marry me?"

She didn't hesitate. "Yes," she said, her voice breaking as she threw her arms around him, nearly knocking him over. "Of course, yes."

Luke laughed, holding her tight as she buried her face in his shoulder. When she finally pulled back, he slipped the ring onto her finger, his hands trembling slightly.

It fit perfectly.

Aria stared at it for a moment before letting out a soft, incredulous laugh. "You proposed to me when I'm dressed like this?" she gestured to the boxers and t-shirt she'd stolen from him.

Luke smirked, hands gripping her waist. "I told you I wanted it to be unexpected. And this seemed like the least likely moment."

She rolled her eyes, but her smile didn't waver. "You're impossible, you know that?"

"And you love my anyway," he leaned down to kiss her.

"I do," she whispered against his lips.

As they sank back onto the bed, the movie forgotten and her fears finally gone, Aria realized she'd never been more certain of anything in her life. And neither had Luke.

[depressedcoffeeobsess]

╰[𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬]

pairing(s): james potter x fem!reader

summary: they both are oblivious, still glancing at each other.

warnings: james and reader are both idiots in love, reader is more of the shy type. Sorry.

note(s): my first ever james potter fic! I was bored so I wrote this :)

word count: 675 words!

CHRISTMAS SEEMED TO KICK IN faster than usual. The festive activities were being done all around the place. The lights seemed to glimmer brighter than ever this year. Yet again another christmas at hogwarts. This time the halls had been lit up and decorated. The big christmas tree in the middle, complimented with ornaments and tinsle. Mistletoes were at it's usual chaotic way. It seemed to have appeared all around the place when two students were together. Hogsmeade wasn't usually so packed during christmas. But this year the streets were full of people going in all directions.

James potter and his friends, the marauders, were staying at hogwarts too. They didn't have a particular reason, except for james. He was staying because you were staying. Of course sirius knew that. Sirius knew almost every thing at hogwarts. It was like he was dumbledore.

You were having a great day yet. Sneaking out to the kitchens with marlene and mary was your thing. Lily wasn't staying this time around. She had to be with her family. It was sad and upsetting truly, but you tried to have fun with your other friends too. Marlene suggested that they all have hot chocolate and crackers to taste during every winter day. Mary suggested going to hogsmeade to get candy that could get eaten at mid night. You weren't usually the type to cause chaos and mayhem. But for your friends you'd do almost anything.

you would say you were having a bliss starting at James. What could you say? The man was pefect. Head to toe. Every inch of his perfect face seemed to be sculpted by apollo himself. And his body, you couldn't even start with it. His quidditch really worked. And his hair—

“if you keep eye shagging him why dont you just talk to him?” mary was waving her right hand in front of you. “I mean you looked like you were lost” you were. Good guess marlene.

“well, I–I cant talk to him. He'd never feel the same way” you were quite insecure seeing that most of the girls at hogwarts were confident and pretty.

“of course he does. He just doesn't get the time to show it” marlene perked in. That made you feel so much better.

“dont believe her. I mean the part where he likes you back, do. But the other isn't real. He does have time for you” Mary tried to make the current setting brighten up.

“but what if he doesn't?”

“he’s a big jerk—”

As their conversation continued, James was stealing subtle glances at them. More like you. He was trying not to just stare because sirius could fire at him any time. They liked to tease each other. James thought you looked particularly amazing today. He picked up a habit to note down—on his mind—what you were doing everyday.

“Prongs, mate if you are gonna keep looking at her, you might aswell already ask her out” sirius said without a teasing tone. Sirius was being serious.

“you look at her all the time. What's up with her?” no doubt that remus had already caught up to sirius with peter behind him.

“n–nothing is up with her!”

“of course there is nothing up with her” peter rolled his eyes. He was already catching up with it.

“whatever” of course james was scared to admit he liked you. He loved the way your hair was let down loose or just tied up. (I'm so sorry if you are bald. So sorry)

You were constantly glancing around the common room just to look at james. You both were looking at each other secretly. But this one time your gaze lingered on for a bit longer. This one time also happened to be the time james looked at you too. You both had caught each other. For a moment it seemed be that the time had stopped. The ongoing coversations were behind this atmosphere. When you both got to your senses you looked away, blushing furiously with wode eyes. Could that possibly happen one more time? (It is gonna happen)

[c-e-d-dreamer]

You Can See It With The Lights Out

A/N: Happy Nessian Swiftmas! And happy whatever holiday (or simply day off work) you are celebrating today! @unhealthyfanobsession may have broken all of our hearts with her Nessian Swiftmas fic, but I'm here to balance it out with some absolutely tooth rotting fluff inspired by Ms. Swift's You Are In Love

Read on AO3 // Nessian Swiftmas

Realistically, Nesta knows that this makes the most sense. She knows that driving downtown and dealing with the traffic is bad enough without the additional headache that comes with parking. She knows that even on the best day you're lucky to find a garage with space available, and it's near impossible to find one that doesn't cost twenty dollars minimum.

Still, she feels almost strange sitting in the back seat of an Uber, rather than the comfort of her own car. Feels strange sitting on the Metro and allowing it to carry her from all the way at the end of the line to downtown. It feels even more strange stepping inside the large office building that Cassian's security firm calls home.

The building management has already decorated the space for the season, a large tree stretching toward the ceiling in the corner, wrapped in red ribbon and with large, silver baubles hanging among the greenery. Perfectly square and wrapped gifts litter the space beneath the tree, and Nesta is confident every single box is probably empty.

The last and only time she's ever stepped inside this building, the lobby was practically bustling with people going to and from lunch, but now, it's practically a ghost town. With the way the sun has already set outside, it's extra eerie walking across the space, the sound of Nesta's heeled boots on the marble floor resounding loudly around her.

"Nes!"

Nesta has to press her lips together to hold back the fond smile threatening to pull free at the sound of that stupid nickname. He's forever the only one she allows to get away with it. She looks toward the sound of that voice just in time to watch Cassian step away from the elevators, his hand raised in an easy wave. She quickly makes her way over to him, only half hearing whatever Cassian says to the security officer sitting behind the lobby's front desk.

When Nesta reaches Cassian, her eyes sweep over his frame, taking in the dark green button down he's wearing, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows so that the muscles and veins of his forearms are on full display, the starting lines of dark ink that Nesta knows stretch further up his arms and across his chest peeking out beneath the fabric. His hair is scraped back away from his face and piled atop his head, but a few dark, curly strands have fallen free and tumble in all which direction, a sign Nesta knows means it's been a stressful day for him.

"You're not ready."

"I know. I'm sorry," Cassian tells her, capturing her hand in both his and bringing it up to his lips, pressing an apologetic kiss to her knuckles. "I just have one more thing to get done today. I promise."

Nesta hums, but it's hard for to stay annoyed when Cassian's hands are so warm against her own, calluses familiar and comforting where they slide against her skin. Hard to stay annoyed when she can see that soft smile of his hiding behind her hand where he still holds it to his mouth. Hard to stay annoyed when those hazel eyes are pinned solely on her, the gold flecks of them seeming to twinkle.

"One more?" Nesta asks, raising an eyebrow.

"One more."

Cassian presses the button to call the elevator back and gestures for Nesta to step inside first when the doors open. He's always doing that, like he's some sort of southern charm gentleman. It had taken Nesta by surprise when she first met him. Sometimes, it still takes her by surprise even now.

He doesn't quite make sense to her. She's never understood how he can be so patient when the scars from her mother, from Tomas, run so deep. Never understood how when she feels spiteful and unworthy that he swears she's something precious. Never understood how her scowl can make him grin, how her rolling eyes can be his favorite.

Sometimes, she thinks he must be a dream, that she'll wake up and find herself alone and cold in a bed of tattered, old sheets. Sometimes, she holds her breath and waits for him to change his mind, for him to realize the thrill of the chase has worn off, for him to turn and walk away. But then he'll look at her with that slow, soft grin, that flickering spark simmering amongst the greens and golds of his hazel eyes.

He'll look at her with that one look meant just for her, and everything else will go quiet.

The elevator doors open with a ding on the sixth floor, and Nesta follows Cassian down the hallway and to his corner office. He steps over to his desk in the center of the room, gathering up a stack of papers and what appears to be a blueprint of some kind. With his arms full, he heads back toward the office door, but he pauses long enough to press a kiss to Nesta's cheek before he vanishes down the office hallway again.

Nesta rolls her eyes at the overly sweet gesture, but she turns her attention to Cassian's office while she waits for him to return, noting the perfectly straight, military handwriting on the whiteboard. Her fingers trail across the wood as she steps around his desk, her breath catching when she sees the framed photos neatly lined there. There's a photo of Cassian with an arm thrown easily around each of his brothers, but there's also a photo of… her.

She recognizes it from back in October, from when they went to the local pumpkin patch. Cassian has his arms draped around her shoulders, his chin propped on the crown of her head. His grin is wide enough that his eyes are closed, crinkles popping at the corners of them. Nesta's own lips are pinched, but even through the camera lens, she can see the dusting of pink across her own cheeks. A heat she can feel echoing across her face now at knowing he keeps this photo on his desk.

"Okay, done," Cassian announces, stepping back inside the office.

"Why would you choose this photo for your office?" Nesta asks, pointing toward the frame.

"I love that photo."

Cassian grabs his coat, sliding his arms through and taking a moment to do up the buttons. He grabs his scarf next, but rather than put it on, he steps into Nesta's space. He hooks the scarf around her neck, looping the knot and offering her a wink.

"We both know how you're always cold, sweetheart."

He slides his hand into hers, linking their fingers, and leads them out of his office and back toward the elevators. As they walk, Nesta can't help but turn her face into the fabric of the scarf, breathing in the familiar pine scent of Cassian's cologne. It's a comfort, having his scent, his warmth, wrapped around her as surely as the hand cradling her palm.

It's only a few blocks to H Street and the Solstice market stretched along the road there, but Nesta still presses close to Cassian, determine to leech as much warmth as she can from his large body. The lights come into view first, sparkling fairy lights strung across the different white tents that make up the vendor booths, curled around the trunks of the trees lining the sidewalks. There's even what appears to be a large Solstice star at the other end of the market. It's like stepping into a snow globe.

It's the smell that hits Nesta next, sugary sweet and chocolaty, the distinct smell of gingerbread. It already has her mouth watering, her eyes darting around the booths to find the source when they properly step inside the market.

They weave through the people and the booths until a vendor selling handcrafted accessories catches Nesta's eye. She drops Cassian's hand so that she can step inside the booth, leaning in and tilting her head so that she can examine the different jewelry pieces on display. The pair of sunflower earrings would make a perfect gift for Elain.

"What do you think, Nes?"

Nesta looks up at the question only to find Cassian now standing next to her with a knitted mask pulled over his head. A knitted mask meant to resemble a husk of corn, his eyes peeking out from holes in the yellow pattern and a few strands of his dark hair pushing through the gaps and sticking up alongside the green yarn husk around his ears.

"What are you wearing?"

It's hard to tell fully with the knitted mask, but Nesta is confident that Cassian is smirking at her. "What? Aren't you feeling corny?"

"I'm going to walk out of here and pretend I don't know you."

"We could make a corno together. It would be hot. What do you say?"

Nesta shakes her head fondly at his antics, but there's no stopping the amused snort that escapes, no fighting the way the corners of her lips tug up of their own accord. Cassian finally tugs the atrocious knitted mask off with a wide grin of his own, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes and off his forehead. He vanishes to return the mask from wherever he got it, Nesta picking up the sunflower earrings to purchase them for Elain.

When she steps out of the booth, carefully tucking the small, brown bag with the earrings in her purse, she finds Cassian already waiting for her. He holds his hand out toward her, making a big show of wiggling his finger expectantly. Nesta happily slips her hand back into his, but Cassian frowns, bringing their joined hands up to his mouth and pressing his lips against her knuckles.

"Your hands are freezing, sweetheart."

Nesta wants to remind him that they're outside, at night, in December, but Cassian merely turns on his heel and continues walking through the market, pulling Nesta along by their joined hands. He comes to a stop at another of the booths, and Nesta has to swallow down a moan of delight at the unmistakable and delectable smell, at the red looping letters on the sign.

"Two hot chocolates please," Cassian requests from the booth vendor. "One with marshmallows and extra whipped cream and one with cinnamon."

With a smile and a nod, the vendor starts to prepare their drinks, Nesta tugging open her purse and reaching for her wallet.

"Don't even think about it."

Nesta freezes, turning her head enough that she can peer up at Cassian, but he merely keeps a single eyebrow raised until she lets her purse drop back to her side. It's still hard sometimes, to let go of the ghosts that cling and whisper in the back of her mind. To ignore the words that remind her there's no such thing as handouts, that demand she always pays for herself.

The vendor sets down two to-go cups in front of them, Cassian easily pulling out his wallet from his back pocket and paying for their drinks. Nesta is all too happy to reach forward and take hers, sighing at the warmth that seeps through the cardboard and into her hands. She dares to take a small sip, the sweet taste of chocolate and whipped cream blooming across her tongue despite the heat of the drink.

She and Cassian step outside the line of booths, away from the hustle and bustle of the people still moving through the market, to enjoy their respective drinks. It's almost peaceful, standing beneath the twinkling fairy lights, the upbeat instrumentals of a holiday song drifting from the booths on the breeze. With the warmth of Cassian beside her, his scarf still wrapped around her neck, and the hot chocolate cradled between her palms, Nesta almost doesn't mind the cold.

"Look up," Cassian requests, his voice soft and low. Nesta does as he ask, her shoulder brushing against his own as she does, sending goosebumps ricocheting from that spot of contact. "Do you see those three stars there? That's Enalius' belt. With the city lights, you can't see more than his belt, but up in the mountains, you can see the whole constellation."

Nesta's eyes trace the three stars, the slight arch they cut across the sky. "I'll be sure to add trip to the mountains to my bucket list."

"I have a cabin up there. Well, a family one. We should plan a trip to it in the new year."

"Me? In a cabin? In the mountains?"

"I think you'd like it. You could curl up with a big, fluffy blanket and your book while a fire crackles in the fireplace and snow falls outside."

Nesta hums, smiling softly at the picture he paints. "That does sound nice."

"I'd make sure I chop all the wood for us too. I bet you'd really like that."

"Shirtless?"

Cassian laughs at that, the sound as warm and soothing where it settles in Nesta's veins as the hot chocolate she sips. "You drive a hard bargain, Nes."

He wraps his free arm around her waist, tugging her closer and into his body. Nesta tilts her head up to meet his gaze, tracking the way the fairy lights, the moonlight catch in the hazel of his eyes. The softness in his expression, the return of that smile of his, has Nesta's heart tripping over itself in her chest, has her leaning into him even more. And when he tips his head down and kisses her, right there on the sidewalk, she thinks that this might just be what true happiness feels like. ~ * * * ~

They stay at the Solstice market a while longer, enjoying the different foods and sweets and booths, before walking back to Cassian's office building. They take the elevators down instead of up this time, Cassian leading the way through the parking garage and to his truck. He makes sure to open the passenger door for Nesta, waiting for her to settle before closing it and jogging around to the driver's side.

Solstice music plays softly from the speakers when Cassian turns on his truck, providing a quiet soundtrack as he drives them out of the parking garage. He cranks up the heat and turns all of the air vents in Nesta's direction as he turns onto the main road, his hand settling on her knee while downtown fades in the rear-view mirror.

Nesta rests her head against her seat, closing her eyes for just a moment. She swears that the way Cassian's thumb slides back and forth across her knee matches the slow and steady beat of her heart. She swears that his own heart beats in time with hers, tying them together as surely as a golden thread twining between their ribs. She swears that she can feel it then, on the drive back to Cassian's apartment. Can feel it in the comforting warmth that settles all the way down to her soul, that's wrapped in the cab of this truck.

When they step inside Cassian's apartment, Cassian takes off his coat and kicks off his shoes before he vanishes into his bedroom, still humming the last Solstice song that had played on the radio before he'd shut off his truck. Nesta shakes her head fondly and takes the time to peel off each of her own layers, hanging them on the hooks beside Cassian's front door.

She follows behind Cassian, but he moves out of the bedroom as soon as she steps inside, already having changed into a worn pair of grey sweatpants. His hands slide across her waist as he passes her, lingering just a moment longer than they probably need to, as though he simply always needs to be touching her. Even with the heat of that touch, the heat that seeps from his palms and beneath her skin, a shiver still skitters up Nesta's spine, and she has to bite her lip around a smile.

She moves further into Cassian's bedroom, but no matter how many time Cassian assures her, no matter how many times she's stood exactly here, Nesta still needs to take a moment. She still needs to close her eyes and breathe. She still needs to remind herself that with Cassian, there's no expectation, no obligation or guilt when it isn't met like before him. That she can finally let go of her fears and her ghosts.

Breathing deeply and letting out a soft sigh, Nesta shakes her head. She walks over to Cassian's dresser, tugging open the middle drawer and rooting around until she finds a long sleeved henley, the blue fabric soft between her fingers. She changes into it, the hem hitting halfway down her thighs and the sleeves hanging well past her hands. It's as warm and comforting as Cassian's scarf, even if it smells more like his laundry detergent than him.

She shoves the sleeves up to bunch around her wrists and returns to the main room of Cassian's apartment. The man in question has his back to her, standing at the kitchen counter. She can't quite hear with the distance between them, but Nesta is sure that he's still humming to himself. Can see it in the way his head bobs, the way his hips sway. In those sweats he's wearing, Nesta can't help but shamelessly stare at his ass as he moves, at the way his back muscles work as he prepares whatever is in front of him.

"Enjoying the view, sweetheart?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Cassian laughs easily at that, and Nesta finds herself smiling right alongside him. She grabs the blanket off the back of the sofa, wrapping it around herself and settling down against the cushions. Cassian comes padding over to her, a mug in each of his hands, one of which he holds out for her.

"Your coffee, made just the way you like it."

Nesta takes the mug with a soft, grateful hum, clasping the warm porcelain between her palms. She takes a deep breath of the steam rising from the liquid, daring to bring the mug to her lips and take the smallest of sips despite the heat. Cassian sets his own mug of what Nesta knows is chamomile tea down on the low coffee table and plops down on the sofa as well. He wraps his arms around her thighs, propping his chin on her raised knees.

"You know, your love of coffee at midnight is beginning to concern me."

"I like how it tastes," Nesta tells him haughtily, taking another sip pointedly. "Besides, you're just jealous that my body is able to handle it and yours can't."

"Handle it?" Cassian asks, pressing a chuckle into her knee. "Is that what you're calling staying up until the early hours of the morning?"

"You say that like it's only the coffee keeping me up."

"Just one more chapter, right?" Cassian lets out a long, dramatic sigh, putting on his best pout. "How will I ever be able to compete with those book boyfriends of yours? With their Zaddy shadow powers?"

There's no stopping the laugh that tumbles free from Nesta's lips at that, Cassian grin only growing in response to the sound. "I cannot believe you just said that."

"With their dark hair and their tattoos and their ruggish good looks."

"You are not subtle."

Cassian winks at her, sitting back enough that he can pick back up his own mug, taking a sip of his tea. They speak softly as they both finish their drinks, Cassian telling her about his latest project at work and Nesta telling him about the current book she, Emerie, and Gwyn are reading for book club. It's comfortable and easy, and Nesta can't stop smiling as the minutes tick over into hours.

When they've both drained their mugs, Cassian coaxes them both back into the bedroom, Nesta burrowing beneath the blankets and into him. His arms wrap securely around her waist, tugging her closer still until their legs are a tangled mess. Until his body and his warmth and his scent surrounds her completely. Until Nesta isn't sure where she begins and he ends.

It doesn't take long for Cassian to fall asleep, for his breathing to even out, but Nesta finds herself staying awake. Finds herself watching him. Finds herself giving in to that golden warmth curling in her gut and between her ribs.

The lights are out, but Nesta swears she can see it in the press of Cassian's cheek against his pillow, in the dark strands of his hair soft and sleep mussed against his temple. She swears she can hear it in the soft snores he lets out, in the quiet patter of rain that's started outside the window. She swears she can feel it in the warm weight of Cassian's arms curled around her, in the steady beat of his heart pressed against her own.

There's a quiet snuffle and then Cassian's eyes are blinking open again, his smile soft and sleepy. "What is it?"

"Just…" Nesta sighs softly, giving in to the urge to brush the hair off Cassian's face with gentle fingers. "Thinking."

"About how handsome I look when I sleep?"

"Actually, you drool." Cassian's chuckle is soft, tugging a smile across Nesta's lips. "I was just thinking… that I don't know what I'd do without you."

"The feeling is mutual," he assures her, the soft look that takes over Cassian's face leaving Nesta's breath catching. The one meant just for her. "You're my best friend, Nes."

Nesta dips her head forward, sealing her lips against Cassian's in a sweet kiss. And she knows it for sure, then. She knows that she is in love.

—

2025 tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed; bolded names mean Tumblr won’t let me tag you 🥲): @moodymelanist @sv0430 @bookstantrash @hiimheresworld @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @glowing-stick-generation @goddess-aelin @melphss @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @wolfnesta @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @that-little-red-head @kale-theteaqueen @superflurry @lady-winter-sunrise @freakingata @susanbanarchy @jsmelodies @unhealthyfanobsession @presskmewleroux @nativeswfl @livinforthetea @dying-of-wanderlust @berkskc @the-new-ribbon @underneath-the-sidras @deadandsane

[softspeirs]

I've Got Dreams (But I Can't Make Myself Believe Them)

Pairing: Lewis Nixon x Original Female Character Summary: Henrietta Murray keeps showing up at the most inopportune times, surely, Lewis Nixon thinks, just to drive him insane. Author's Note: Merry Christmas, @quillandink22! I'm your Secret Santa! I've had so much fun over the last month messaging you and getting to know more about you. I hope you enjoy this and have a wonderful week! Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Henrietta and the plot. Title comes from Homesick by Noah Kahan. I wrote some of this on my phone so please excuse any spelling mistakes!

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The thing about Lewis Nixon is that he is not a humble person. He's good at his job, and he knows it. He takes pride in the fact that other people know he's good at his job.

His rank and his position are things he's worked hard at, things he's earned, which he's not ashamed to say isn't the norm for him. While he's sure his last name and his upbringing helped him get through OCS relatively unscathed, there was no one there to pave the way or line anyone's pockets. He did it with nothing but his intelligence and his aptitude behind him, and he was proud of that.

That's why it makes him so infuriated when he's questioned - not even because he doesn't think he could ever be wrong, he's not that egotistical - but because the woman standing in front of him, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed, has never, ever taken him at his word.

Henrietta Murray has a habit of breezing in and out of active combat zones like she's going on a picnic, and that alone drives him absolutely crazy. She also has a habit of listening to what he has to say, and then, in a blase tone, saying "interesting", like it's so cute that he thinks he knows what he's talking about.

One of these days, he's going to say something to her that he'll regret, so he fights every instinct in him, every punch to his ego she dishes out, and shoves the reports into her hands.

"The details are all there. All the reports we have from the other battalions say--'

"Captain Nixon, I'm sure your reports are correct. We don't need to go over the details. Local intelligence is important to consider. That's why I'm here."

Yes. That's why she's here. Tossed around between the OSS and the SOE for months, she has seemed to land here with the Airborne as liaison, and while she has got them out of some scrapes, he's not convinced that they wouldn't have figured it out on their own.

It's unfathomable to him that she's here, in the middle of the godforsaken Ardennes forest, too-big helmet askew on her head like she's not going to get shelled at any second. The anticipation of the next fight is buzzing under his skin, and the thought of her stuck here when it happens - because it's not if, it's when - makes him want to vomit (he also doesn't want to dissect that reaction too closely).

"Why they signed off on you trudging in here, I have no idea." He grumbles, stamping his feet to try to get his circulation moving.

"It's been bad." She says. It's not a question, but her brow furrows.

"That's one word for it."

The heat seems to leave her eyes, and he thinks he sees a glimpse of fear take its place. It’s the first time he’s ever seen anything but confidence in her expression, and it unsettles him.

“I’m sorry.” She says.

He frowns. “What are you sorry for? You’re not the one firing at us.”

Something in her expression seems to signal defeat. She sits on an overturned crate in the CP and he realizes suddenly that she’s just as tired as the rest of them.

"You know--" She starts, "In town, they're just as terrified of us as they are of the Germans."

Nixon makes a face, but she continues before he can say anything.

"The kids... war is the only thing they've ever known. The color of the uniform doesn't matter. All they know is that as long as we're here, the bombs will keep falling. The shelling will continue."

The tone of her voice is different than anything he's heard come out of her before. It takes a little bit of the fight out of him.

"You've been in there too long." He says, blunt.

Her eyes flash. "You think I need to be pulled out?"

He shrugs. "Maybe if you get a break, when you come back you won't argue with me so much," he offers, smirking.

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t argue with you.”

Nixon’s mouth drops open, incredulous. “All you do is argue with me—“

A loud, high-pitched whistle overhead interrupts him. Murray’s eyes fly to his, their gazes locking as the color drains from her cheeks.

“Get up.” His tone is harsh.

Yards away, the bombardment begins, the sky turning bright before everything explodes.

“Now!” He shouts, and he’s shoving her towards a foxhole before he can think about what he’s doing. “In. In, get in.” He says. He realizes she probably can’t even hear him, but his heart is pounding so hard at the thought of her being caught out in the open that his words are more for himself than for her.

He jumps in after her, ducking down when a shell explodes what feels like only mere feet away. Her eyes are shut tight as she curls in on herself, as if she can wish all of this away.

He doesn’t say another word as he crouches at her side, sinking as low into the earth as he can, and he drags her with him. She goes willingly, her body trembling with fear against him, and he takes a minute to say a prayer to anyone listening that she’ll make it through this.

Somehow the thought of her fire, her light being snuffed out as quickly and meaninglessly as this— it feels impossible.

“It’ll be alright.” He says in her ear. He has no idea if she can hear him. “Just hang on.”

It feels like hours go by but it’s likely only a few minutes before the shelling stops. The sudden silence around them is chilling, and he has a terrifying feeling that the worst has happened. He has nightmares about this - that he crawls out of his foxhole to find he’s the only one left.

Soon, Dick’s solid form is above them, brows pinched in worry. “Nix?” He calls.

Nixon feels half deaf. “I’m all right.”

“Murray?”

She’s still shaking like a leaf.

“Henrietta.” Lewis says her name firmly. She would never forgive him if he treated her like a wilting flower.

She blinks rapidly, seemingly coming back to herself. “I’m—“ she looks around, down at herself, and back up at Winters. “I’m okay.”

He nods. “Need to check the lines. Don’t go far - that might not be the only barrage. We’ll call for your transport as soon as we can.”

Nixon realizes he still has a tight grip on her shoulders, and he backs away slowly, giving her some space. The sight of her wide, terrified eyes makes something ache inside of him, but he pushes the feeling away.

“You need to get out of here.” He says quietly.

“That’s not up to you. Or me.” She replies. Her voice is steady now and he sees the familiar fire return to her eyes as she gears up for another argument.

“At least do me a favor and stop showing up here unannounced.”

She smiles. “Don’t like knowing there are things you don’t know, is that right, Captain?”

Yes, it sets his teeth on edge that the nature of her work is partially a secret. Yes, it makes him furious when she shows up whenever the whim strikes her (though he knows that’s not a fair assessment- she has intel when she has intel. It doesn’t run on a schedule) and usually the whim strikes her whenever things are about to go to hell.

“I wish you’d just get the reports via courier like everyone else. What do you need a hand delivery for?” He grumbles.

“Maybe I just like your company, Nix. That sunny disposition.”

They sit in silence for awhile longer, both of them trying to calm their racing nerves and hoping the other one doesn't notice.

"It's Christmas Eve." She says suddenly, voice morose. "Everyone in town was hoping for a ceasefire."

Nixon snorts. "It'll come an hour too late." He gestures around them. "Who feels like celebrating Christmas at a time like this?"

He's very aware of her calculating gaze on his face. He doesn't like it. She sees too much - it's why she's good at her job, though he'll never tell her that.

She reaches into her pack that, somehow, wasn't blown to bits as they had flung themselves headfirst into the foxhole. She rummages around for a second and then thrusts a small package at him.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like?" She asks, impatient.

"I don't know, that's why I'm--"

"Jesus Christ, Lewis, will you just take the goddamn present?" She asks, voice rising.

He stares at her, uncomprehending. "What?"

"Do you not celebrate Christmas? I thought for sure--"

"No, I mean-- what-- when did you have time to think about this?" About getting something for me?

"I just saw it and it made me think of you and how much you love when I show up and talk your ear off, so--"

"I didn't get you anything." He says, stupidly, as if they're having a normal Christmas shopping conversation.

She tilts her head, bemused. "I figured. That's not the point. Open it."

Inside the hastily wrapped package is a small, leather-bound notebook. Pocket-sized. It's the perfect size to shove in his jacket and he runs his fingertips over the cover, trying to understand why it feels like the world is shifting under his feet.

"There's a man in town who makes leather goods." She pauses, frowning. "Used to. I-- well, anyway. He gave me a good deal and I felt bad showing up all the time for messages. God knows what would happen to him and his family if they're caught." She's rambling, but it makes him smile, so he lets her.

"Don't look at me like that." She says, eyes narrowing as she catches his expression. "I just figured--" She huffs, cheeks reddening, embarrassed as his smile grows. "You're always forgetting important details, so now you can write them down." She says heatedly.

He laughs. "Thanks, Murray."

She ends up staying there through the night. It's too dangerous to move and if the ceasefire for Christmas does come, she can get out then.

He watches her sleep. He doesn't mean to, but he can't help it. She looks softer, younger in her sleep. He wonders how long she's been here. Wonders how many of her civilian contacts she's gotten close to before she learned not to get attached. Wonders how and why she ended up here, in this job.

He wonders why he's wondering about her so much.

Shoving the thoughts away, he closes his eyes. He can hear the Germans singing. It sounds like Christmas music.

He falls asleep to the sound of her breathing.

[tubbytarchia]

Do you also feel as if the reason Scott always survives so much is that, besides being a good pvper, he just stays in the corner (sometimes literally) and doesn’t engage in the same risks as most others? I remember feeling really frustrated about it in Limited Life specifically but idk if that’s just a me thing.

In a way, yes, I do think he stays out of the action more than others. In fact there is this one time in Secret Life when him, Bdubs and Impulse were in a game of tag, and Bdubs was with his horse. Scott stole that horse and told Bdubs that it was unfair for him to have it and he would get it back at the end of the session, Bdubs reluctantly agrees. And then later in that session, this mf rolls up to Bdubs on that same horse, saying "I just wouldn't be able to escape otherwise". That is just a direct contradiction of the "fairness" that he claimed himself to want to provide for the sake of the other players. He has been a massive hypocrite or just unfair on multiple occasions for the sake of self-preservation but he knows how to paint his actions as bearing less weight than they do and make others feel like he's doing a favor and being a friend

But it's not even so much that as it is him generally staying in people's good graces, even when it's borderline manipulative or he antagonizes someone else to achieve the desired effect. Pearl wasn't exactly innocent in DL but it was Scott who ostracized her and stayed in good favor with most people by virtue of painting himself as the sensible one between the two of them when he instigated much more harm. He just intentionally doesn't leave strong enough impressions for anyone to want to kill him and will rather partake in small gestures of kindness; most times anyone's wanted to get him was because of him just being on more lives or time and not because he'd done anything to them (And people like Joel have actually been wronged by him in a very tangible way, justifying their desire to get back at him)

I'm confident that everyone within these games knows how to SURVIVE better than they do. But the point isn't survival, the point is content - conflict, interaction, etc. Scott also knows how to play it safe and stay in relative good favor with people by not offering up too much, but I have to agree that he seems to prioritize that more than anyone else. The most compelling aspect of his character is his self-sacrificial nature, and without any context, him sacrificing himself for others seems like a high and respectable toll, but he knows exactly what he's doing, he knows how much he can give and be fine and in control. When he sacrifices himself, he's prioritizing the benefit that will offer him and not the recipient. He's just very good at the social mindgame of it all, which is what makes things most interesting about his character, but it becomes less fun when he's this focused on survival and always gets away with it, almost never facing any punishment despite being equally as guilty of wrongdoing as any other member of the series